Just Lovers [WooSan]

003

Wooyoung 

I had called Mihi and I felt like such an asshole for doing so. I knew she finally got a day off and I was pulling her back into my shit. 

She looked cheerful as she came into the practice room, but her smile immediately dropped when she saw me. "What?" 

"It's about San." I admitted, feeling worse even just saying his name. 

I was a huge fucking dick, I couldn't believe I did any of this. 

She folded her arms, "What did you do?" 

I let out a long breath, a grimace on my face as I said, "We had our coffee date and it was going really really well. And then I started flirting with him when he took me back to his apartment so we could hang out and play video games, but he started to get really flustered and I realized you were right that he could be awkward and dorky. So maybe, that kind got to me and I couldn't help myself, but kiss him...and things progressed." 

I left out the part when I literally straddled his lap and asked if he wanted me to ride him, knowing that would just piss her the fuck off. 

I still saw her frown but decided to continue. 

I knew I was a piece of shit. 

"So anyway, after some backbreaking sex, I felt horrible. He's really great and I really want this to work out, but the first thing I did is sleep with him! I'm just afraid, what if I get bored of him so quickly like I usually do? Or what if he now thinks I'm a slut because I fucked him on the first date! Then I had to make things worse by leaving without saying anything, treating the whole thing like a hookup. I saw Mingi there too which was super embarrassing." 

I knew I was ranting but I wanted it all out. 

"Have you talked to him since then?" She asked. 

"No."

God, what was wrong with me?! 

"Wooyoung!" She rightly chastised me. 

"I'm sorry! I'm just embarrassed!" 

"That doesn't matter, what matters is he is going to think all you wanted was a quick fuck because you won't talk to him! You promised me you were ready for a good relationship!" 

"I'm sorry. I know I fucked up and broke my promise-" 

"That's not what I care about, Woo. San is my friend too. He also wanted to get into a new lasting relationship. He's never going to forgive me. This isn't just some fuck up, you need to apologize and set things straight. I'm serious. It's not as simple as you not being ready for a relationship. He deserves better!"

It made me feel worse knowing that I genuinely hurt San too. It made me want to run and hide and never see him again so he could forget about me and I could forget about how badly I fucked up. I knew that would just make things worse though. Mihi wouldn't forgive me if I did that. I knew they were close and she saw him as a brother. She'd hate me if I hurt him. I was surprised she didn't hate me now. 

"I get that sex is really important for you, that's fine. I just think you need to be up front about it. I mean, is he boring yet?"