Just Lovers [WooSan]

014

San 

"This is MM." Hana said, gesturing the girl in front of me who was much taller than me, especially since she was wearing platforms that only increased her height. 

She was definitely mixed and had very long white micro braids. She must've been wearing silver eye contacts because she looked a little otherworldly. Especially since she was covered in tattoos and had more muscle than I did. 

"Why do you keep bringing strays to my door?" MM said bitterly and it made me smile, like it was a breath of fresh air. 

"He wanted someone who skipped the bullshit." Hana explained. 

"What does that have to do with me?" She looked annoyed. "What? Every time you need an asshole, you find me?" 

"....yes." 

That made MM smile and she sighed. "Okay, whatever. You wanna come in?" 

In an odd way, she reminded me a little of Hongjoong but I didn't feel manipulated by her. It was nice. 

"I'm San." I said, holding my hand out for her to grab. I guess I expected her to scoff like she thought I was an idiot but instead she just grabbed it immediately. 

"San?" She repeated, like she faintly recognized the name and maybe she did. I nodded. She dropped my hand. "You guys can hang out if you want. Make a mess of anything and I'm killing you." 

"She has OCPD." Hana said. "And what I mean by that is she might really kill you if you make a mess." 

"What's OCPD?" I asked when we sat down on MM's couch. 

"Kind of what people confuse OCD as. She also has quiet BPD...I promise she's fun to be around." 

MM came back with a couple of beers. "She's lying. I'm horrible to be around." 

Hana shook her head disapprovingly. 

"I got the good genes in my family so I can't complain." She sat down across from us. 

"She's helped me a lot with my own obsessive behavior when it comes to work." Hana explained, getting comfortable in the cushions. "She also understands anxiety better than most since that's why OCD or OCPD is a thing."

MM took a drink of her beer. "Am I suddenly a psychiatrist?" 

Hana smiled warmly but it faltered a little. "She's also helped Mihi with her anxiety." 

I knew it was hard for Hana to mention Mihi so I never brought her up, even when we were hooking up. 

"Mihi came over recently." MM said, earning both of our attention. "It's been a long time." 

"Did she say anything..."

"About you? No." MM said casually, clearly not caring that Hana seemed sore with the subject. And maybe that's why Hana brought me here. Because despite Hana being sore whenever Mihi was brought up, she didn't seem upset at MM for it. 

Hana shuddered to try and get her mind out of the subject and she sat up. "So what do you want to do? Weed, alcohol, sex?" 

"What?" I asked, surprised how easily she said it. 

She looked to MM. "You up for it?" 

MM shrugged like it didn't matter either way. 

"You said you wanted something real." She looked back to me. 

"Is this considered healthy?" 

"Nope." Both of them said in unison. "Is that okay?" 

I stayed silent for a minute to think. 

Wooyoung did it, why couldn't I? 

I was tired of being taken advantage of. I just wanted to do something I wanted. I didn't want to feel loved right now because I felt like it was all lies. Being comforted would just make me feel worse. 

I didn't know who I could trust anymore when it came to being honest with me. 

All I wanted was honesty. 

"Yeah. Yeah, it's okay." I said.