Just Lovers [WooSan]

017

Wooyoung 

I must've zoned out in class again because I didn't even realize it was over. Not until someone slammed something down in front of me, making me jump. 

My eyes went to the helmet that I had given to Hana to deliver to San. I looked up to see San standing in front of me, looking pissed. 

I had never wanted to break down crying more than I did right this moment. I couldn't express how much I missed him or what it was like seeing him again right now. My heart ached so badly that I felt like I was suffocating. 

He was so beautiful. 

"This was a gift. I don't want it back." He said bluntly and then turned to leave. 

I grabbed his wrist, jumping up to stop him from leave. "Wait!" 

He looked back at us then at our hands. "What?" 

I didn't have a reason to make him stay. If I let go, would he disappear again? Would I even ever see him again? My life was hell without him and I knew that was because of me but I just didn't want to lose him. 

"Don't leave me." I breathed. 

He ripped his wrist out of my grip and it felt like a blow to the gut. "Goodbye, Wooyoung." 

I fell back down into my seat, feeling lost and hopeless. 

Why did I even try? 

That was the last time I saw San for months. Winter came and passed and I spent my break all alone like I predicted. 

Mihi and I went back to normal as much as we could be but she could tell I wasn't okay. She was nice about it though, especially since I could tell she was just itching to tell me how I did it to myself. 

I didn't know it would've affected me as much as it did. We were supposed to be casual so why did it feel like we broke up? 

For some reason I took Hana up on her offer to model for her. It gave me something to do other than being holed up in my dorm by myself constantly. 

Apparently San had been back in everyone's else life but mine after some time away. Mihi didn't usually talk about him but I knew she could tell I wanted to ask her about him. 

She never brought him up though. A clear warning to leave it alone. 

I decided to go to one of Hongjoong's parties because his parties always had the good weed. It wasn't that he made me feel unwelcome. It was just that I felt weird going to hang out around a person that was so clearly not my friend but San's. 

Maybe I was looking for another hook up. It had been long enough. That could be what I needed to get my mind off of it. 

But I knew the answer and I knew I didn't want to hook up with anyone else. After my experience with Jiho and how wrong it felt, I decided that San had truly ruined me.

I knew I was smoking too much and drinking too much but I also wasn't sure I exactly cared. A part of me hoped I drank so much that I'd pass out and never wake up.