That Lucky Fall (Luke & Jai Brooks/Janoskians Fanfic)

Chapter 23: Miserable Me

* Andrea's POV *

So I’m in Melbourne and have been living on here for a few months. I was getting used to life in Australia. I lost my first ever guy best friend because I fell in love with his brother. And now, I’m depressed, miserable, horrible, and the list goes on.

I never expected that life in Australia would hit me back. These changes I’ve done with my life since I moved here were all gone. Jai doesn’t want me anymore. Luke, I have no idea what he thinks of me now. All my friends are their friends. I have no one to talk to. I have no one to confide in any more. I’m Andrea Gomez, and I’m back to having no friends. I was back to feeling all scared going to school for the first time because I don’t know anyone. But this time I knew everyone, and I knew what people are like. I know I don’t fit in with them. And life will never be the same again.

I was scared. If there’s a fear I couldn’t take is being lonely. Robert and the other cool kids would probably laugh at me right now. If I stayed with them, I would still be miserable having them to control my life on who to be friends with. But maybe, I won’t hurt Jai as much as I did now. We used to have petty fights before but this one, I knew he wouldn’t forgive me.

I was worried for tomorrow. I knew that I would probably feel like it’s my first day again. I made it alive back home and I thought I can do it here too. I’m here to learn. I’m here to… Who am I kidding? I’m gonna be all miserable I just knew it.

Going to sleep was hard. I didn’t eat anything the whole day. I was tired but I didn’t have any appetite. I’m used to this back home. There were actually days I didn’t eat the whole day, and I would also go to the library every break time because I have no one to hang out with. I’m the loser kid. No one wants to talk to me or hang out. I told Jai I was gonna wait for him till he calms down. He was so mad at me. He hated me. He pushed me away. He doesn’t want me in his life anymore. I don’t think he’s ever gonna forgive me. I was crying myself to sleep. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to talk to Beau or even Luke. I didn’t want to talk to my family, not even Tina or Sarah. I was so alone.

My alarm clock sounded off and I got up. I didn’t realize what time I have gotten to sleep. My nose was stuffed and my eyes showed signs that I cried all night long. This was the day I thought would never come back, me being miserable in school. I used to hate school because of bullies. Now I hate school because my best friend hates me. I didn’t wanna punish myself more. I started fixing myself up. I tried my hardest to put some powder and make up on my face so it wouldn’t be obvious that I’ve cried all night long. Though I know for sure, he wouldn’t even bother. I knew he wouldn’t care anymore.

I went down and had my breakfast. I had to eat something or I would pass up and faint in some unknown street where no one knows me. Okay, I was exaggerating. But I do need some energy. Once again, I felt like a robot going to school because I had to. If I had a choice, I wanted to leave and drop out. I think homeschooling is not bad after all. I think I should have done that way back. I had a very sumptuous breakfast that my mom made. I brought an apple in my bag for lunch. I didn’t wanna go to the cafeteria where I’m not really that welcomed anymore. Those were his friends and I only got in that group because of him, Jai.

I walked to school later than Dylan. We used to go together sometimes when he catches me, or when I catch him. I wasn’t keen on getting to school early. I wanted to be just right in time. I got to school 10 minutes before the bell was about to ring. I saw the whole group in our hangout place. Julie greeted me and asked if I was feeling better. I sighed. I didn’t stop. I walked towards the building. Jai or Luke wasn’t looking at me. They continued on their business like I was nothing. True, maybe I was nothing to them anymore.