Shades of Sepia

IX

Beyoncé Giselle Knowles
July 20th
Houston, Texas

I was infatuated with this woman and everybody knew.

Since I'd taken my seat beside my sister, in the front row, with a bouquet of white roses to match my white outfit and her white gown, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. My stare was heavy and not only could she feel me, but she was staring right back. Usually I liked to be more discreet with my relations and the women I dealt with, but I couldn't help this.

She was addictive.

I was protective over her, possessive even. I didn't want another soul to talk to her, look at her for too long, or even give her a once over. She belonged to me, and I had never been this careful about a person. It was at a point where she no longer slept by herself, no matter where she slept, and she no longer woke up without a hand between her thighs.

She lit my soul on fire, and all she ever had to do was be herself.

I never understood why Sierra had my sister on a damn leash, but when Onika came around, I turned into my sister. These women were in a league all of their own.

"You look like a damn cult leader," Solange whispered.

I turned my nose up, still unable to take my eyes away from my lady, "What you look like?"

"Whatever Sierra wants me to look like."

"Sister you are gone."

"I know you ain't talking. That girl finally gave you some pussy now you sitting up here with white roses."

I waved her off, "That ain't got nothing to do with it."

"You don't have to lie to me. I've been with Sierra for longer than you know. These girls get in your pockets first and I can see she's not going anywhere."

"She's not."

"So I need you to find a healthy medium. I wasn't just talking shit at that meeting. The reality is, you're never gonna be able to keep that girl if you're broke, and she shouldn't have to choose. Which means you need to pay attention in these meetings."

"I hear you."

"Serious. The way you spend money on that girl, you need to be listening."

"I'm listening."

Sometimes it was just the way my baby sister came at me about things that made me less receptive, but I could be too emotional at times. Only and especially when it came down to my sister or my mother. But when I actually took the time to think about it, Solange was right. I spent double of what Solange spent on Sierra, on Onika. She was a very expensive habit to have, and I never wanted her to change. So I knew I had to listen.

They called Onika's name and I couldn't stop myself from standing and cheering even though they had specifically told us not to. And when they called Sierra's name immediately after, Sierra did the same thing. We were so loud, they had to escort us out and we had to wait almost two hours for them to actually come out.

I stood against the limo, holding out the roses when Onika finally walked out. The moment I saw her, nobody else mattered.

"Thank you baby," She smiled and I tilted her face to me, kissing both of her dimples.

"I'm proud of you."

"I am not very proud of you. You got kicked out."

"That's fine. They always tell people to be quiet knowing people won't. Y'all graduated college. That's a crazy feat. Most people don't even get that far. Not to say anything about dropouts bu-"