lovelovelove | park sunghoon

four

2019

Misuk had this habit of blaming Sunghoon for everything. A great way of not dealing with the guilt and consequences. Blame him and not herself.

She got a bad grade? His fault, he was her seat mate.

She didn't have a boyfriend? Well, he hasn't noticed her crush on him so again, his fault.

She decided to leave one of the best K-pop companies? His fault for getting the idol idea inside her head.

After that night at the Han River, she actually got interested in the whole trainee life. She knew a few groups, even loved some of them, but when she went deep in the information, she realized she could try it out. Why not?

She started looking for open auditions and auditioned for every existing company in the country. She made it into a few of them but ended up picking SM because she was the biggest girl's generation fan. Also, they valued vocals and that was what she was more confident about.

The first few months were like a dream. She enjoyed the dorm life, the lessons, everything about it, until she started to depersonalize. Something she never experienced before.

Misuk started to view herself as two, trainee Misuk and regular Misuk and that wasn't healthy at all, or that's what the therapist said. Her mental health started interfering with her life so she started to rage out on the people she loved. That's the reason Jiwon and her haven't talked in two months. Sunghoon wasn't cut out because she only saw him every once in a while anyhow.

Her ranking started dropping more and more as the monthly evaluations went by and it felt extremely humiliating because she knew she could do better. She wasn't strong enough to keep going, despite everyone encouraging her to keep trying, so she just dropped out.

Did she felt relieved afterwards? Yes.

Was she sad about it too? Hell yes.

Wen she got to the ground floor of the huge building, she noticed the heavy rain, very typical of a summer afternoon in Seoul. She saw Sunghoon sitting on the sofa near the entrance, playing with his phone, and that cured her bad mood immediately. She thought he was long gone since the meeting took longer than expected.

"Say hi to the former SM trainee" she said faking a smile. Sunghoon raised his head and showed her a soft smile before locking his phone. "I fear there's no future left for me."

"A tad dramatic, don't you think?" he chuckled. "You'll be fine, Mimi, you'll find another company in no time."

"I thought you would be home by now. Didn't you notice it started to rain?"

Sunghoon stood up and looked outside through one of the windows, seeing the non stopping downpour. The guy stared at Misuk like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He proceeded to explain how the game got too addictive and he couldn't lose because he's too competitive. He was the cutest in her eyes.

"Let's just go, okay? I need to eat some cake so I can get over this sadness quickly."

Sunghoon let out an adorable little exclamation, one that only proved he came because she told him she was taking him to his favorite bakery afterwards. Yes, Misuk needed someone for emotional support so she bribed the guy.

Misuk pulled out an umbrella from her bag and opened it once they were outside, only for Sunghoon to snatch it out of her hands, holding it for the two of them. Misuk tried her best to not smile like a crazy girl but she didn't do a good job at all.