Behind Closed Doors ✔️

23

We ended up in the park. Antony ran ahead of me through the field, and I jumped onto his back, wrapping my arms around his neck. He laughs loudly, his hands instantly going to my knees, keeping me secure. There was no one around us and the dead of night had crept up on us, so it felt weird being so open and free for once. It made me shiver with the possibilities of the future. If this was us now… not knowing what we’re doing and messing around and having fun, what did our future hold? 

I rested my head on top of his hair, and Antony held a little tighter onto me. “You’re fucking heavy, man.” He grunts, and I laugh loudly, feeling drunk and high off of this feeling. This emotion erupts through me. It hits me like a ton of bricks and I laugh up at the starry night. “Fuck-” Antony whispers, before we’re both falling onto the ground. 

I roll around until my back hits the grass and Antony is next to me, his fingers entwined over his stomach. “Shit.” He laughs, and I turn my head to the side to see the biggest, widest grin on his face. I almost gasp in shock. It’s crazy how one smile can make a person so much more beautiful. It gives him a boyish look that I didn't think was capable with his rough features. When he turns and sees me staring at him, his smile slowly drops. “What the fuck are you looking at?” He asked, and I bit my inner lips to stop myself from smiling. 

“Nothing.” I murmur, shrugging my shoulders and clearing my throat. “It’s just…” I sighed. 

“What?” Antony asked, his mouth slightly parted. 

“You should smile more.” I say, trying to sound nonchalant. 

“I don’t like smiling.” Antony murmurs, and I scoff, shaking my head.

“It suits you.” I tell him, and Antony looks over at me, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Stop complimenting me.” He frowned. “I’ll have to fucking kill you.” 

“I’d like to see you try.” I laugh. 

“Oh, yeah?” Then, he’s leaning over me and pinning my hands down to the ground at the side of my head, staring down at me. I think I’m mesmerised by his eyes. By everything about him. “See?” He tilts his head. “I could stab you right now and let you bleed to death.” He tells me, and I smirk up at him. 

“But, you wouldn’t.” I tell him, and his lip twitches once more. 

“Oh?” His fingers tighten around my wrist as he slowly lowers his body a little. “What makes you so sure?” 

“Who else would you sneak out of dinners with?” I asked him, and he scoffs, laughing lightly as he shakes his head. His eyes flicker all over my face and then he lowers his head, softly kissing me. It blew my breath away, how delicate the kiss was. It felt like a brush of a feather. Like a swipe of warm air across my mouth. His hands slowly loosened on my wrists and I pulled them away, cupping his head as he kissed me. 

I could hear my heart crashing against my bones and punctured me with an overwhelming amount of feelings that I couldn’t keep up with. They poured out of me like a bullet wound, and I can’t stop it. The freeing feeling. The longing and the relief it brings me. To do this and feel this way and to experience it with someone who’s going on this journey with me. 

I feel his fingers lightly press onto my throat, and he lifts my head, kissing me deeper and desperately. “Fuck.” He mumbles against my lips, his thumb trickling across my jaw. I run my fingers through his hair and stroke my fingers across the skin of his cheeks. Then the fire and the flames and the want and the desperate need charge through the both of us as Antony kisses down my neck, pulling down my shirt and kissing my collarbone. I think I almost evaporated right there. 

It was like all my problems were solved right at that moment. As me and Antony crossed a line that was never drawn on in the first place. As we showed each other what we’ve been missing our whole lives. As we drove each other to the edge and make one big fucking mistake, but as long as it’s the best, biggest fucking mistake, I think we’ll both be alright.