Behind Closed Doors ✔️

Author's note

Oh, it's actually quite crazy how quickly I finished writing this one. It was an emotional rollercoaster, is all I can say. I had to physically channel my inner roadman for some of that dialogue (I've been in London once in my entire life).

I would like to thank everyone who read this book and gave it a shot, because I assure you this story is not over yet. Trust me, as much as happy endings suck and give false hope for reality, sometimes, as the author, it can hurt a little. I must admit, I was tempted. I was extremely tempted to kill one of the characters, preferably in the hands of the other, but that was mainly because I've been watching Top Boy. Great show, by the way. Be glad I didn't kill Antony by having him gutted by the hands of Thomas, or something.

Now, onto a more serious note. I'd like to talk a little about the characters of Theo and Antony. To be able to write these characters, I had to dwelve deep into my utter britishness by researching (observing) the gay people in my college and make these characters the complete opposite. Let's be honest, Antony is girlypop, but he's not GIRLYpop, ya know? Theo is just ya basic white, gay boy. He knows he's gay, he's proud, and he hates hiding it. Antony, on the hand, has no idea who he is. He hates it and needs to learn to overcome it and be proud of being gay.

Both have individual battles that they're going through. Theo, with coming out of the closet and understanding that the world is against him, and Antony is dealing with abuse at the hands of his father. Even though we don't really dwelve deep into a lot of aspects of Antony's life, I show a lot about his character that can still be further explored.

The TINY grasp of character development at the end slowly got thrown down the toilet super quick, and I'll never forgive myself. Sometimes, I have these little thoughts in my head when I'm writing, and they're like little comments that I would leave if I was reading the book. I also have these thoughts when I'm reading a paper copy, and I always wish I could see what other people thought when reading so that I could let them validate my opinion on the book.

Anyways, as I've said before, this is NOT the end. Let's face it, it rarely ever is with depressing endings with me, isn't it? I can't settle on a cliffhanger, which this undoubtedly is. Will Theodore ever go to University? Will Antony accept who he is and come back home? What about Fernanda and Thomas, what happens there? Will it be a thing, or is Fernanda being serious about hating him? Oh, how I enjoy a good ol' enemies to- enemies to what?

I guess you'll have to wait and see.

Catch you later, folks. Happy pride. 🏳‍🌈

-H