Ineffable - S.REID

30

・゜゜・．THREE WEEKS LATER .・゜゜・

For a moment, things were perfect. Everyone at work knew and after a meeting with Hotch and certain things were explained, they were finally able to stop hiding it all. Obviously at work they weren't exactly going to act too romantic or anything but finally being able to have discussions freely without worry as to how they were being perceived was freeing entirely. And they were both incredibly happy, despite the little digs that their friends would give on occasion. Then the happiest dwindled just a little after his Mom took a turn and refused to take her medication. She could see how it affected him instantly, he grew more reserved and quietly thought whilst staring out into the distance a lot more than usual. And of course she was worried and tried her hardest to be a light or just a comfort that he needed. He was glad to finally have someone like that in his life.

"Hey, have a good weekend, JJ!" Emily smiled as she almost yelled across the area in which their desks lived.

JJ in response held up a case file, quickly apologising, "Sorry."

Morgan sighed, "There goes my beach house rental."

"And my non-refundable Sin to Win weekend in Atlantic City," Emily grumbled in annoyance. Clara knew how much she had been looking forward to the weekend so knew how difficult it would be for her to not go after such a long wait.

Derek looked at her in perplexment, "Sin to Win?"

Emily smirked subtly, "Yeah. And I always win big."

"And what were the Reid's going to be up to?"

"I will hurt you Mr Muscles," Clara threatened and he chuckled. He, given how they were all sitting, was the only one that could see Reid's face and the soft smile that crossed his lips before Clara had gotten in her threats. The first time he had made such a joke, Spencer had asked him to not tell her about the smile or anything similar and he of course obliged (even though it would be an incredibly entertaining conversation.)

"We were going to go see my Mom," Spencer responded somewhat sadly, his sadness could have been taken multiple ways but of course she knew the real reason. She, without looking too much, reached for his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. This action would occur on multiple occasions through the following case, doubling in occurrences while he sat and read through thirty journals with details of a serial killer's mind. The more she sat and observed how the BAU worked, having not had one of her sparks of genius for a few weeks now, she realised how much they relied on him throughout all cases. He didn't seem to care and loved his job entirely but she couldn't help feeling somewhat unsettled by it all.

-

"I can't sleep," he spoke into the phone, not waiting for her to even say hello .They were past that now, the fillers of conversations just felt unnecessary.

Clara sighed softly and placed her book on her nightstand, having felt the same way for the past hour and a half. She sat up in bed, untucking her torso just so she wasn't fully covered with the blanket and therefore feeling so cosy she could sleep. "What's on your mind?" she asked, gaze flickering to the television screen that had been flicked on just for background sound as she read. She didn't like quiet, too much could be hidden within it.

"Not anything in particular," he replied with a soft sigh. "I just can't sleep."

"I get what you mean," she chuckled softly and muffled a yawn with the back of her hand. "I think I've just gotten too used to sharing a bed." He didn't respond for a few seconds too long, the line so quiet she could hear some form of music playing in the distance of whatever room he was in. She frowned, "Spence?"

"Sorry I was just thinking."

"Anything interesting?" she wondered hopefully, thinking that listening to him talk for a while would give her the relaxation to finally fall asleep without him there.

He laughed softly and sleepily, "I haven't spent more than ten hours in this apartment in the past week."

"Wow, that's actually... Wow..."

He paused for thought, quickly triple checking his calculations before replying, "Between cases and sleeping at yours... it works out." By this point of knowing him, she had learnt the things that others hadn't or just never bothered to notice. She could decipher his tone of voice at an instant, not just because it was a huge part of her job but because she just knew him. She didn't know everything, it hadn't been long enough for that, but she had a pretty good grasp. She could tell what was hidden within his voice, the want to ask a question he didn't know how to or was just too nervous to bring up. To her, it wasn't something that needed to be asked. It was something that was just understood between two people, that's how it had happened with her parents. Her Ma spent so much time at her Dad's apartment that they just ended up living together without ever really discussing it. Instead they took the time to discuss other arrangements, like who could go gardening or fix the paintwork. She valued that conversation more than the question and thought that any other person would too. That aspect of communication was more important, to her anyway.

"Is it too soon?" she asked softly and noticed the brief sigh of relief that echoed down the phone. She wanted desperately to see him, to be able to read his eyes or see the joy within his smile.

"I don't think so, I think we're ready for it."

"Will all your books fit in the house?" she asked with soft laughter that he soon matched, undoubtedly looking at his book collection and wondering the same thing. Then she suddenly gasped, "Oh wait, they can all go in the office, I don't really use it and there's tons of room."

"And if we get sick of each other I can always sleep in the guest room," he added and there was a brief shuffle or something noisy that prevented her response but she couldn't figure out what it was exactly.

She laughed, "Given that I'm struggling to sleep without you here, I'm pretty sure that won't happen... It's good reading time though."

"How's your book?"

She grinned instantly, excited to get to talk about the book that had completely stolen her attention, "Oh it's incredible, the writings amazing. You were right, I love it."

"I thought you would," he replied, joy that she was enjoying his recommendation ringing clear in his voice. This time her response was prevented by thought. She fell into a momentary deep thought about her life in general but soon found herself slipping out of it when he broke the silence, "Ara?"

"Sorry I was just thinking," she apologised quickly, snapping back to her reality instead of being lost in her thoughts. "Spence," she almost whispered, unsure as to whether she should ask the question that she so yearned to ask.

"Hm?"

His tone of distraction momentarily shook her thought of asking away, she for a second listened to the anxious thoughts that told her that he was too busy and wouldn't want to. But, like usual, she managed to fight them pretty quickly (thanks to her childhood therapist) and asked softly, "How quickly can you get here?"

"I'm already walking out the door."