Ineffable - S.REID

53

・゜゜・．FOUR MONTHS LATER .・゜゜・

Clara suddenly found herself in the final few weeks or days of her pregnancy and honestly, she could not wait to not ache all over constantly. Pregnancy had not been easy on her body, just like it hadn't been easy for her Ma. Spencer and Clara had both been given a form of maternity leave thanks to Hotch so they were both just waiting for something to happen. Waiting for something without a date or time that it would occur was rather gruelling for the both of them. They waited and waited, using various methods to pass the time but Clara could not stand to paint. Her feet hurt too much and she just couldn't move as easily around her easel now. She spent most of her time either reading or watching old Italian movies that her Ma sent from her personal collection. "Are you sure? You love your job," Spencer asked after she offered to leave the BAU to have a job with slightly more regular working hours. It was a conversation they had span around multiple times during her pregnancy and they had never gotten to a conclusion. But time was running out, really running out given that Clara had been having slight pains in her womb since early that morning. He didn't know that though as she didn't want to send him into worry if it were too early.

She smiled reassuringly, "I know... But you love the job more. I'm fine at a 9-5 desk job. I like paperwork, you know that."

"Ara, you don't have to do this," he paused as she shifted uncomfortably, feeling a rather sharp pain in her back. "I could just teach full time so you can stay in the BAU."

"I want to Spence, trust me. And hey, if you're that worried about me not being on the case and figuring everything out for you, I'm just a phone call away."

He laughed at her joke but kept the offer in the back of his mind, knowing that inputting her into work upon occasions would be as good for her as it was for the cases in general. Her brain was a marvel. He left her to go take a shower shortly after that, not before grabbing her a bowl of prepped fruit from the fridge. She tried to ignore the building discomfort within her stomach and ate the fruit balanced on her stomach, letting her mind fall into the movie completely.

Her focus found itself ruined by the doorbell and since Spencer was still in the shower, she was forced to clamber up from her collection of blankets and her generally comfortable position to answer it. She wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and held it close, feeling the winter chill in the air that swept through the windows rattle in her bones.

She checked through the peephole then slowly opened the door, eyes wide with shock as she muttered, "Vin?"

"Ciao Clara," he smiled in the same way he always did and for a second, Clara wanted to hug her brother. When the smile faded and he attempted to step into her home, she remembered all the torment and the years of pain and prevented him from entering the threshold.

"Don't."

"Cosa?"

"I don't want you in my house," she explained softly, hugging her arms across her torso as another cramp shot like waves through her torso.

"I'm your brother," he scoffed jokingly and she instantly noticed the mischievous glint in his eye.

"Not when you're drugged up, you're not," she paused, spinning her engagement ring around her finger anxiously. "The second you get sober I'll welcome you back but not until then." 

As Vin paused for thought, unsure what to say to that even though he had somewhat expected it, Spencer walked down the stairs. He instantly looked over his sister's shoulder and felt a surge of brotherly protective instinct as he watched the man walk into the living room and stare at him. "Who's that?" he asked with the brotherly tone she had been missing all her life.

Clara turned and caught Spencer's eye as he paused drying his hair with a towel. She reassured him that she was okay with her eyes and he walked into the studio, closing the door behind himself. "That's Spencer. You'd know all about him if you cared to ask me how I was or pay any sort of attention to my life."

"Clara please-"

"No Vin," she interrupted, not wanting to hear another round of grovelling. It all sounded the same to her now, unconvincing and filled with the need for money to fuel his habits. She shifted as another pain, this time sharper, swelled within her body. She tried to move away from it, as if that would help, but instead just ended up dislodging her blanket. She managed to become overwhelmed with cold in the few seconds her body was uncovered.

He gasped softly, smiling brightly, "Are you pregnant?"

She shook her head, ignoring all attempts at other conversation. She couldn't deal with this right now, not when there was the very real possibility that her child would be born today. And even if she wasn't, Clara would never let herself get taken in by his heartfelt requests ever again. She had helped her brother get a fix too many times. "Vinnie I'm not going to ask you again, leave."

"Is my baby sister having a kid?"

"Your baby sister?" she scoffed, finding her patience dwindling completely. "Vin as far as i'm concerned I stopped being your baby sister the second I had to clean you up and lie to Ma about the lines on your arms," she paused and used her blanket covered hand to blot away tears. "I don't know how you got my address but for the love of God, leave. Please... I can't go through this with you again."

"I'm sorry, for all of it. Really I am, I'm so sorry. I couldn't handle dad-"

"Don't you dare blame this on him, don't you dare." At her interjection that could be considered a yell, Spencer walked out of the studio and went to stand behind her as a comfort but also protection against him. As he placed a hand into the small of her back, she whispered, "You're not that much of a coward."

"I think it would be a good idea for you to leave," Spencer added before Vinny could respond. He could sense Clara's views about the conversation and wanted to help it reach its end as soon as possible.

Vin looked to the floor and the various flower pots at the door before asking, "Could we go out for lunch then?"

"Vin-"

"Clara please. I'm in a programme, it's helping I swear. They want me to reconcile with the family... I chose you first."

"You'll ask me for drug money-"

"I'm five months sober," he interjected, his posture and tone changing to one of instant pride in himself.

The silence hung heavy with the divulgence of that particular piece of information. She stared at him for a moment, reading his face for lies. She found none and found herself smiling with pride coursing through her veins. He hadn't gotten that far before, it looked as if this would stick. She so hoped it would, god she hoped it would. "I'll think about it and call you when I can. Still the same number?"

"Sì," he responded with a thankful smile. "Ti amo," he continued softly before turning to leave her doorstep. Clara, too taken aback by his giving of love, stared in bewilderment. Spencer closed the front door, the sound snapping Clara out of her thoughts. She hadn't heard her brother say that he loved anyone, let alone her, for years. It seemed to greatness the truth behind his want to recover.

He tucked her hair behind her ears and cupped one side of her face with his hand as he whispered, "Are you okay?"

Clara nodded gently then shook her head a little harder. Then she shrugged and laughed at herself, fingers rubbing her temple as another pain flowed through her body. The intensity of it confirmed all of her suspicions and she could not ignore it or be reluctant to believe it anymore. "I think I'm in labour."

Spencer blinked twice, taken aback by how casual her whisper was. He stammered and his gaze fluttered from her face then to her bump. His mind switched into work the second she winced in pain, hand flying to the bottom of her stomach where the pain was the most intense.