No Matter What

This is too Hard

The first day in the hospital wasn't easy, but the nurses said that I was where I should be. My incision looked good, I was walking, eating, and managing my pain with the meds in the IV. I was still really sore and uncomfortable, but ready to see my family.

Annie and my dad brought me all kinds of great snacks, along with my laptop and some of my favorite fidgets that I forgot. After that I saw Connor's family, who brought me a coffee. It was great to have something warm. The hospital felt like it was freezing.

Once everyone left I was given a super weird and super uncomfortable sponge bath. I wanted to shower super badly, but they weren't going to let that happen with my incision. After my sponge bath, the lactation consultant came in to help me start pumping. With the boys in the NICU and hooked up to feeding tubes, I obviously wasn't feeding them myself.

We were so unprepared that we didn't even take the breast pump out of the box, so we had to put the whole thing together, have it charge first, and then have the lactation consultant come back later. It was super humiliating, but she said given our circumstances and how I delivered in an emergency situation, there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

When she came back, I had no idea how complicated a breast pump really was. I had no idea there were different parts and different modes. I figured, you know, you just kind of press the button and it does its thing. I didn't realize you had to hold it a certain way or that you had to keep adjusting the settings.

"See, this is why it's really beneficial to invest in a hands-free pump," said the consultant.

"Okay. We just got this one because it came free with my dad's insurance," I snapped back.

I normally didn't talk to people or snap at them but I was tired and in so much pain. I just wanted to go back to my warm house and lay in my bed. This whole thing was too hard.

I pumped for the recommended time of twenty minutes, poured everything into freezer bags, and the consultant helped Connor get everything cleaned out. Once she was gone, I shooed Connor away to go get some lunch. I wanted to be alone and nap. We had a goodbye handshake since I was in too much pain to sit up all the way, and he went downstairs to visit the boys and get picked up by his family.

I was finally getting some sleep. A nurse put more pain meds into my IV, so I was in dreamland...until one of the nurses woke me up.

"Hi Ayla. So we're going to have to move you sweetheart," she said, another nurse coming in behind her.

"Huh. What?" I asked.

"We were notified by our billing department that your dad's insurance will only cover a private room for sixteen hours, and we're past that mark, so we need to move you into a shared room so your insurance will cover it. We're going to take you over to your new room with a roommate now," she said.

"A r-roomate?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm sorry honey. It's unfortunately the way these insurance companies work," she said. "We're just going up one floor. We're going to get you moving now, okay?"

They placed everything on my bed, including Connor's bag, and wheeled my bed over to the elevator. I immediately texted Connor and my dad to tell them I was moving, also letting them know my new room number...and about my roommate. We went up one floor, down the hall, and then we stopped at a room.

"We're putting you with a girl who's close to your age. I'm sure you two have a lot in common," said one of the nurses.

After knocking on the door, they brought me into the room. A girl who looked around my age was sitting up in her bed, watching something on her laptop with her earbuds in. Oh no. A roommate. Now I actually have to talk to somebody. I literally don't want to talk to anybody.

They took Connor's bag off my bed, positioned me, and put the brakes on before leaving. I glanced over at the girl, realizing she still had a baby bump. A really large one, in fact. Why was I with someone who was prenatal instead of someone like me who was postnatal?

"You alone, too?" she asked.

"Uh...kinda sorta. My boyfriend is visiting my boys in the NICU and going out to lunch," I said.

"Oh you've got multiples, too? Nice."

"Just twins. They were really high risk, but they made it," I said, trying to smile so I looked like I wasn't a jerk.

"Damn. That sucks. I'm glad they made it, too. I've got a high-risker myself," she said, patting her baby bump and adjusting her gown so I could see the monitor. It was all the way over by her hip. "We're dealing with some kind of heart problem."

"Wow. Is it something that can be...you know...fixed?" I asked.

"Yeah, they'll most likely need heart surgery if they make it. I try to say 'when they get here' most of the time because I don't need that negativity in my life," she said.

I smiled. "My boys had a fifty-fifty chance, so I get it. I kept getting told not to get attached and things like that. It drove my anxiety up the wall, but it's better now that they're here. Are you having twins, too?"

"Keep going," she said, chuckling.

"Wow. Triplets? That's crazy," I said.

"Keep going. I already have a set of triplets."

My stomach dropped. I felt like none of this made sense. What kind of super eggs did this girl have? How OP was this guy's sperm if she already had a set of multiples?

"No way. I can't imagine having quads. It's making me anxious just thinking about it."

"I don't know how you're gonna feel when I tell you there's six of them," she said, pointing to her massive bump.

I felt frozen. "You're...joking, right?"

"That's what I said when they told me there were six initially," she said. "It's unreal. We've had so many people contact us. We're even gonna be on MTV because we just can't afford it otherwise."

"That's just...wow. When you said there were six I was about to ask if you were getting your own show, like the Sweet Home Sextuplets family!" I said, starting to giggle.

"Wait, there's another sextuplets family who has their own show?" she asked.

"You didn't know that? My sister Annie loves that show," I said.

"No! I thought it was only Jon and Kate Plus 8. I ordered the DVD box set from Amazon so I could watch it and see if it teaches me anything about raising six babies at once! You're telling me there's another, more recent show?" She clicked around on her laptop and her eyes widened. "Holy. Shit. I've got work to do."

We both had a good laugh. I didn't even know how long we were talking before Connor came in. I sat up a little and smiled, now that my pain meds had kicked in and I could actually move. Connor was grinning ear-to-ear.

"They're looking awesome!" he said. He looked over at me, then back at the girl. "Did you make a friend?"

"We were talking about kids. I was telling her about the boys. This is..." I said, trailing off.

"I'm Harper."

"Yeah, this is Harper," I said. "I'm Ayla. This is my boyfriend Connor."

"Boyfriend and new dad!" he said.

"Harper is having six babies," I said.

"S-six?" said Connor. "God bless. I can't imagine."

"Trust me, neither can I...or my boyfriend."

I had a good rest of the afternoon talking with Connor, Harper, and her boyfriend Lee when he came to visit. We even started watching the first season of Sweet Home Sextuplets together. I never thought I'd make a friend who was another teen mom.