My Husband (COMPLETED)

12

"What do you mean he knows?" Cherry asked over the phone.

"He said it. He told me that he couldn't believe that I lied." I tell her, as I keep in the tears that wanna fall.

"So what does this mean for your relationship?"

"I wish I knew. I should've just told him about getting my tubes tied when it happened, but I knew he was gonna be pissed."

"At least you knew what to expect though. Honestly, I think you're both in the wrong though. You for lying. And him for being an asshole."

"Look, I love you and everything but I'm the only one who can call him that." I responded a little harshly. I only called her for advice. Not so she could bad mouth my man.

"I'm sorry. But it's the truth and you know it. Yall need to have a sit down."

"The fuck is a sit down gonna do? He doesn't wanna talk to me."

"What happened with yall counselor? Wasn't yall going to therapy?"

"Yeah but that shit don't work. It did at first but then I realized that we were just complaining to a stranger. We could've been telling each other what was wrong instead."

"True. Well I don't know what to tell you girl. You know I'm having troubles in my marriage too. I can't really give you advice."

"I understand. Thanks for listening anyways."

"No problem babe. Talk to you later. Patience! Sit down somewhere!" She yelled and I hung up. I laid back in my bed, thinking about my relationship with Alex. I don't know what to do about him and his temper. Plus, he refuses to talk to me. It's been 2 weeks since the whole 'I know you really got your tubes tied' conversation. The only time we talk is about the kids.

I just want my husband to understand where I'm coming from and see things from my perspective. But every time I think that, I know it's not gonna happen so I quickly dismiss the thoughts.

I really wish I knew where the good times went. And I want them back. I hate to say it, but it seems like our children have come between us. Like everything was fine when there was just us and Cree. Then the miscarriages happened and we became so unstable, mentally and emotionally. Then Ky came and we were okay for a while, but barely holding on. I wanted a divorce and Alex didn't wanna let me go even though he had a side piece. Then Karsen came and we have more bad days then good. And he still wants to bring more children into the world. Don't get me wrong, he's a good father and everything. But somewhere we just went wrong and I really think we should've just gotten that divorce and separated. This relationship is taking its toll on me physically and I can't take it.

I sipped my water as I took my blood pressure medicine. I sighed and tried to relax myself. I wanted to cry so badly but I refused to let those tears fall. I've cried too much over this relationship and I promised myself that I was done with that. Crying isn't gonna solve anything. It's not gonna make me feel better. It's not gonna change Alex. It's pointless. Fighting for this marriage, is starting to feel pointless. Especially when we're steady fighting over the same damn thing.

"My bad. I didn't know you was in here." Alex says as he barged into the bedroom. I turned my back away from him and curled up with my pregnancy pillow. I love it, even though I mainly used it for my back pains with Karsen. It comforted me and held me when Alex wouldn't. He rummaged around the room before coming to my side of the bed. "What's up with you?" He asks as he sits down.

"I don't wanna be bothered."

"Why not? What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you give me a divorce when I asked for it? You were seeing Delia, so why wouldn't you wanna let me go?"

"That's what's bothering you?" He smirked.

"You know what? Forget I asked." I turned my back the opposite way only to be pulled back to face him.

"Why would I divorce you for a hoe?"

"I don't know. Why would you cheat on me with a hoe? Multiple times.."

"That's in the past. I'm not cheating no more."

"Whatever Alex. It's only because she's dead." I mumbled.

"No it's because I love you and I don't wanna lose you." He says, holding my face but I moved his hand.

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't have stepped out on me. I don't care what we went through Alex, ain't nobody ever been up in me. Nobody ever had a piece of what's yours. Maybe a couple kisses but that's it. I would never disrespect you like that. But I know the feelings not mutual."

"I made a mistake. I'm human Jhanay. I'm gonna fuck up sometimes."

"I want that divorce." I got up and went into our bathroom and locked the door behind me. Finally the tears escaped as I sat on the floor crying my eyes out and making loud sobbing noises. My heart hurt so bad as I clutched my chest, trying to catch my breath. My vision became more blurry from the tears. I tried to pull myself together as I stood up and felt my toes go numb. I started panicking, crying harder as the numbness covered the whole left side of my body.

"Alex!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and he came running to the door. He started Twisting the knob as I fell back onto the floor. The pain in my chest increased as I cursed myself for locking the bathroom door.

Just as I was about to pass out, the bathroom door was knocked off the hinges and I was picked up into arms. I didn't know what was happening and I felt my heart thumping harder against its cage as the darkness took over.