Fifty Darker Shades of EraserMic (Shades of EraserMic #2)

Sext Me?

Shouta liked to believe he was a patient man. That he could keep his head and remain steadfast in waiting. For he knew that the wait leading up to what he wanted would be good. That it did nothing to whine and shout, cry and demand for something he simply couldn't have. It was one of the only things he was taught during his childhood that he could agree with. It was better to remain patient knowing something good was coming rather than wanting it right then and there. Especially when what he wanted was unavailable.

Couldn't be given to him. It was something he tried to press upon his daughter when her impatience would tear up to the surface. When she would whine and complain until she got what she had been pointing at. Wanting. It was something he tried to pass on to Hitoshi when the teen was far too impatient during their training. It was an emotion contagious and easily spread among a group or duo. It was counterproductive. Outside of sex, he knew he was patient. Steadfast. That he could keep himself inline as he waited.

There were rewards to waiting and he knew that this recent wait for him would be worth it. It was merely about bidding his time properly. About taking each piece as he could like a bitter pill. A reminder of what he couldn't have just yet, but God knows he wouldn't complain. When Hizashi had gotten his piercings, he knew it'd be a while. A wait that he wasn't sure he was ready for but who was he to tell his husband no? He knew he could voice his opinions. He could tell him about his thoughts on the matter.

Talk about the cos until he was blue in the face but at the end of the day it was up to his husband. And all he had to do was be there for him. Perhaps it was this mentality that had him putting off his desires for so long. Swallowing his longings in favor of focusing on Hizashi. It had been a reckless idea at the time to ignore his own desires so blatantly. One that merely led to a buildup of that sexual frustration between the both of them. Even if Hizashi was a bit late in the game when it came to feeling it with him.

Once that sexual frustration was satisfied there was another emotion beneath it all. A contagious impatience fanning between them. Something that, once identified, seemed intent on swallowing him up. Drowning him under the suffocating weight of it when he had a moment of quiet. Yet he knew better than to vocalize it. Knew that it couldn't possibly compare to what Hizashi had to be living through. His husband was hardly one to pay attention to his state of mind until it was blatantly clear to him. Undeniable.

He'd learned over the years to watch his husband. To keep a small tab of focus on the blonde in the events of a mood switch. His husband had never been the best at recognizing his emotional state let alone his mental and would rather suffer alone with it. Choke it down in favor of making those around him happy. It was something he never liked. It was cliché but he didn't want Hizashi to suffer through anything if he could help it. If he could do his best to make it better then he wanted to do it without a second thought.

While he wasn't wildly expressive in his emotions or very open about them but Hizashi? Oh, his husband was expressive. It was hard not to know what the blonde was feeling in a quiet moment together. When he could read that face in a public setting. The underlying emotion he could catch hidden beneath the surface. It was all in the set of those brows. Of his lips. In the way his eyes would often flicker away only to lock onto a point over someone's shoulder. Over their head. A carefully constructed blankness.

One that he had seen countless times in his husband. Hizashi was a complex but open book. He was easy to read one moment but other times it took a bit of time to understand him. To understand where he was at. And throughout the years he'd spent with his husband did he found himself clueless. Often lost when the blonde's moods fluctuated wildly. Going up and down, up and down, up and down. Doing so the emotional whiplash had them frustrated with one another. Frustration on his part for not understanding.