Fifty Darker Shades of EraserMic (Shades of EraserMic #2)

Empty Me

Enemas are not something I thought I'd find myself searching up this week but here we are! Enemas! It took me a bit to search down and research everything so I can now comfortably (or uncomfortably) say I know all I can know about enemas! It may not be everyone's cup of tea so please feel free to skip this chapter! Enemas are, naturally, something gross to some no matter the context so please skip this chapter if you feel it isn't for you! There is no actual sex but there's lots of steamy grinding and Shouta's first ruined orgasm!  Until we meet again ❤️

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Shouta was hardly what he'd call a shy man. At least, not in recent times. That was, truthfully, something he could thank and accredit to his husband. The persistent chipping that had been done to him over the years screamed of that dedication to work his walls down. To get them weak enough each time he built a new one that it crumbled down. His foundation built on a fortitude of icy indifference had long since become malleable and warm. It had taken a decade of chipping away at it for him to become so relaxed.

As comfortable around the blonde as he had. However, confidence was not something that could be forced into him. Boldness was not something he could be handed. While he had not a doubt that Hizashi found him attractive, there was a reserved part of him that had lingered. Held him in a strangle hold. He knew that reserved nature of his had merely been a biproduct of his environment when he was growing up. A result of his mother's hot and cold treatment to him during those developmental years.

It had been a hinderance; that much he could see now when compared to how open he was with his confidence. His boldness. Especially in the bedroom. It had taken them four years into their relationship to grow so vocal with the blonde. To grow confident enough to know it wouldn't be held against him how loud he got. The sounds he made were utterly mortifying yet merely lit a fire in his husband. He'd had years of his mother speaking in his ear about sex as a whole in the hopes of making it bland.

To give him disinterest in an "in and out" manner when she'd sat him down for that mortifying talk when he was thirteen going on fourteen. When he'd come out as gay to her, out of curtesy rather than respect, he'd begun getting pamphlets on gay sex and STD's. It had been mortifying to be treated in the same manner as his younger sister in terms of what "boys want" and how he should see bedroom life. It was irony coming from a woman who would shamelessly make out with her husband on the living room couch.

It was only in his relationship with Hizashi that he truly had the flaws in his mother's teachings shown clearly for him. Had him aware of his reserved nature when he'd seen how terrified the blonde had been that afternoon in his family home to put his arm around his waist. How long it took him to get comfortable in pecking his cheek first thing in the morning. He'd hardly been the most confident man in his life due to his mother's poison dripped in his ear about being modest. About blending in. Hiding.

And yet the longer he spent with the blonde and interacted with his family it proved to make him painfully aware just how right he'd been about his own mother's approach to life. To sex as a whole. To the stigmas he'd been raised around. It had awed him that first night he'd had sex with Hizashi. That, despite that initial pain, he'd been led to believe it was something shameful. Disgusting. To think he was to treat it coldly with that disinterested mentality his mother had. That he could have ever found it disgusting.

His husband had spent years had been spent chipping away at his reserved manner until he could view sex with that open view. Years that his husband had spent actively working to help him view it all with a new perspective that had truly worked in their favor. Had made their bedroom life better once he had begun growing confident. Bold. When he'd gotten used to the routine to know what was coming and relished in the heat Hizashi held when he made a confident or even bold move when it came to initiating.