Sentimental Chances (On-Going)

Chapter 8 : Reminds Me of Him

On my way home, I rode the Vespa by the empty highway that had a view of the mountainous city. It felt weird that I wouldn't be using it to pick Topher up from the train station, and the fact that his parents were not in town, made it even more crushing.

Not long after, I reached our... my house, and it just hit me that I had to continue with my life without him. Our home is small, but it feels so big for me now.

How do you move on from this?

In my mind, I knew I had to keep moving forward.

Two more weeks turned into a month, and I still could not function. Before, when I was alone in my home, it was because Topher was traveling, and we would text, call, and video chat.

Now, I had to deal with the idea that he was not coming back and that I didn't have to wait for him to reach me through the phone.

Back then, I would check my phone to see if Topher messaged me. Now, throughout my grieving moments, my phone buzzed from the messages and calls from my Mom, Alden, my grandparents, Topher's parents, and my friends here in Barcon, including my friends from high school, asking me how I was doing.

All I could say was that I was okay. I was like a broken record every time I had to answer.

Of course, I was not okay. I just didn't want them to worry too much. I was definitely not okay.

I didn't even want to get out of the house as well because I didn't want to hear more condolences to remind me that my fiance was gone. Good thing some groceries could be delivered to your doorstep and, of course, take-outs.

All I wore were loose old shirts and lounge shorts all day. I only had to change clothes once a week.

I usually clean the place up, but that time, it became a pig sty. Topher liked things neat and organized. However, since he was gone, I did not see the point of tidying anymore, and also, I was not in the mood to do it either.

Not only that, our dream garden became a nightmare because I hadn't watered them for ages. Don't get me wrong, because I'd rather want it that way. It would just make me remember planting the seeds and picking the vegetables with him.

Yup, it was hell.

The kitchen. Topher loved to cook. Aside from taking pictures of the countries he traveled to, he was interested in eating their traditional food and would try to make it whenever he was home. One time, he made a curry that he tried in Thailand, and he was very excited for me to try it. I remember being so spicy at first that it made my face all red.

Our living room. The place where we always cuddled around the fireplace and watched Netflix, and there were times that we slept there. We didn't just cuddle and watch movies if you know what I mean. Plus, it was the last thing we had together.

Our bed loft. One of my favorite things to do was to sleep next to him, and when one of them could not sleep, we would just talk until we dozed off. I remember getting annoyed with his snores, and he talked when he slept. But now, I will miss it forever.

Everything in our home made me think of Topher. The souvenirs he bought were placed everywhere. The pictures we took were framed on the wall.

All these memories in my home were exhausting. I gave myself a kick in the but and just told myself that enough was enough. I forced myself to get up from the bed. Every day was just so hard to pull myself up, and I needed to get back to work anyway. I have employees, but that doesn't mean the owner should keep moping around.

It was morning, and I had to get ready and look my best in front of those clients. Looking at the mirror while I applied makeup, I did not even recognize this woman before me. My face looked like it withered, my eyes were puffy, I lost my color, and my hair was in dire need of a salon. However, it did not matter because I did not feel like it at that time.