Escapism

~ 16 ~ Oh no ~

~Crimson~

The events of the night prior seemed to all blend into one, only really smacking Kaveh in the face when he arose come morning.

Red hues looked around the room, dazed, darting to Al Haitham, naked beside him, his own body, naked, and then the aching pain that shot through him like a javelin, enough to  send him backwards, flat on the bed.

"What have I done.."

Kavehs mind run rampant, what came over him? Why did he just magically think sleeping with Al Haitham would solve all his problems? It wouldn't! It did in the moment but now.. it felt worse than when he would wake up on the street with a hang over.

Its not that he didn't like Al Haitham, he did, a lot, the problem was he wasn't ready. Ready for a relationship, for anything.

"Kaveh."

The blonde sat up, quickly turning to see the shirtless man sitting up, groggy, his brows furrowing slightly as he saw the blonde wasn't beside him. Kaveh sighed softly, expression softening as he turned to face the grey haired one. "Morning."

Al Haitham raised a thick brow, moving closer and examining Kavehs face, piercing blue eyes seeming to see right through his facade.

"What..?" Kaveh said, diverting his gaze, turning away to face the window.

"What's wrong? Are you okay..? I didn't make you do anything you didn't want to last night.. did I?" Al Haitham said, baritone voice, laced with worry. Unusual for the other- but.. endearing.

"No! No, you didn't, it's not that at all.." Kaveh responded, looking to him in a way as if to enforce his statement.

"Then what's the matter..?"

"I... I'm just not sure if I'm ready for anything yet, not because of you- just, because I'm not.. the version of myself I think you want.. if that makes sense, I don't know!" Kaveh threw his hands up, before resting them in his lap putting his head in his palms.

"Sleeping together doesn't automatically mean we're dating-"

"I know but- I don't want to rush! I don't know how to be in a relationship-" Kaveh exclaimed.

Al Haitham raised a brow, but seemingly understood.

"That's okay, then consider last night a little fun, nothing more..." Al Haitham huffed, turning away, to look to side, looking dejected.

Kaveh expression saddened. "It wasn't just fun!.. I just, don't think I'm ready yet- when I get my life together, have an income again.. then we can take things further, I just don't want to- to waste your time!" Kaveh dare not look at the man, pulling the blankets over himself, would he really understand..? Would.. he wait..?

Al Haitham peered at the blonde, out the corner of his eye, offering a sigh, of anger? Disappointment? Kaveh looked away, for.. some reason, he felt a tightness in his chest, he felt sick. Kaveh.. felt scared.

Scared that he had just messed up everything, scared Al Haitham would cast him out, that all those pretty words wouldn't, didn't matter-

"Kaveh."

The blonde looked up from the floor, seeing Al Haitham cold and stone faced. As always..

"You're not wasting anyone's time. I've... waited all these years for you. I suppose- I suppose waiting a bit longer won't hurt." The silver haired man looked away, visibly upset, via his actions, however his voice, monotone, again, as always.

Kaveh took a deep breath in, before letting it out, a sigh of relief.
"Thankyou. Al Haitham, but.. you know you never had to wait for me, there's.. a million- a billion people out there I'm sure at least one of the-"