Of Wings And Claws

CHAPTER 12

I think my whole life's been a lie. At least what I can remember of it.

I don't remember what was like before I was put in that godforsaken orphanage, it was like one day I just woke up and I was twelve years old and living with people I haven't seen a day in my life, not that I remebered.

"Should I call you mom" my twelve year old self sits on a worn out yellow couch in a white summer dress with purple flowers. Lady nuisance's couch's color a little too vibrant for my liking, who even buys yellow couches?.

Lady nuisance is sitted opposite me counting a wad of cash, I see her face scrunch up as I speak, to show that she'd much rather count her money in peace than have me asking her stupid questions.

"I'm not your mother little girl, and you'd be doing us both a favor if you never ask me that question" she says and spits on her thumb continuing to count her money.

"Can I ask where my mom and dad are then if you're not her. Are you my aunt?"

"Shut your little mouth and go play with the other kids. You and Oliva better be here to cook dinner in time" she yells, her big breasts heaving up and down.

I run out of the house like somebody set my butt on fire with tears rolling down my face. "I want my mom" I whisper as I run to the backyard.

Years passed and I still felt the void in my chest, the empty space where my parents would most likely be in my heart.

Now my eighteen year old self stands outside a coffe shop reading a poster on the glass about them needing a waiter, one thing I'll always be thankful for to Lady nuisance is getting us teachers to home school us.

It's been six months since I've been kicked out of the orphanage, six months since I've been living on the streets.

"I'm looking for a job" my words comes out harsher than I intended. The lady at the counter looks at me up and down before frowning. "Well good morning to you too honey" the old lady smiles. She doesn't look too old like Lady nuisance, and she looks a lot nicer too.

Just like that I had gained myself a job and a place to stay. Lilita, the kind lady offered that I stay with her until I'm stable. When she opened the door to her house the first time, my eyes landed on a very beautiful green eyed girl, she was black like me, her hair cut short while mine was an afro. "My name's Emily, ma'am Lita calls me Mily but you can call me Em. She had said with a captivating smile. She was seventeen then, which made me curious as to how she got there in the first place.

"I've been living with a lady who called herself my aunt, I never believed that because she was white and I am black but I didn't question it. She gave me food, shelter and fair amount of education, what more could a girl with no memories of her childhood ask for"

I had been curious about that too, so I shared my story with her too. We were both surprised at the coincidence. That we both didn't remember anything from our childhood except Emily told me that her aunt told her that she was involved in a car accident and that she hit her head pretty hard to cause memory loss. Her aunt had passed away a year ago from a human disease, which didn't make any more sense that her aunt was human and she was Fae.

Emily knew before she even met me that she was a supernatural.

I didn't.

I had lived my life, my whole life at Lady nuisance's without knowing anything about what I am. Not that it gives any signs, unlike werewolves who get their wolves when they are of age,heal quick, have hightened senses. Vampires and nosferatu have lightening speed and hightened senses and stop aging at eighteen. We Fae have nothing to detect what we are at an early age, except we stop aging at twenty one, we don't heal faster unless you're a Mender fae, we don't have inhuman speed unless we use our wings, all in all I was convinvced I was human for eighteen years of my life until Em tagged me along one day she was going to consult from a witch who lived nearby at the Center.

Guess my surprise when the wrinkled old woman's first words when I get in the door are "Bellus, I've been waiting for you" I wanted to run out the door, and if Emily wasn't there with me I would have.

Bula, is what Em called her. Bula was the one who gave me my emerald, "this has been passed down from generation to generation in your family. It will tell you who you are, it will guide you. But, hear my words young girl, there's a missing piece, find it before the darkness finds you. Don't embrace the darkness, fight it, find him, help him." See, I've always been confused in math lessons at the orphanage but what the old lady had said to me was more than just a math equation. It was utter bullshit and I had laughed my lungs out before realising that both her and Emily were dead serious. What the hell did she mean by all of that? What missing piece, find who, what darkness? "Lady thank you for the beautiful necklace, I really appreciate it. But I'm just a simple orphaned and homeless kid and I don't understand whatever you just said. So I'm gonna go"

"In time you will, Bellus Evanton"

Those were literally the last words I heard from Bula, Emily said one day she went to her place only to find an empty cave, no portion bottles lined up on the floor, no nothing. It was like she was never there. She had disappeared.

The next following years was just me and Emily, her teaching me about Fae traditions. Teaching me how to use my powers. We were at the library almost every single day. The more she told me about beloveds, the more I longed for mine.

"You'd feel it the first time you lay your eyes on him. It's like taking your very first breath when your head's been under water. Human, fae folk, werewolf, vampire, you'd feel it whatever creature he is. Even the most disgusting thing about him would draw you in. You'll always see the good in him. You have to respect him the way he respects you and love him even more. If he's a fairy, you'd feel the connection even when he's not around. You'd feel the connection just by touching his belongings."

"That seems nice" I smile lacking a better word.

"Nice? Girl the first time I see my man we're definitely banging right then and there" Emily says clapping her hands.

"Mily!" Lita's horrified voice shrieks on the doorway.

"Oh oh" we both mutter, running to the kitchen.

Emily was right. It was more than just taking your very first breath when your head's been under water, it was like taking your very first breath when you've been dead all along. I felt it with lord Lycidas, the moment he shifted his chest glistening in the moonlight, I felt like running my tongue on every bead of sweat on his body.The way he looked at me when he realised I'm his mate, I would've drowned in those dark pools if it meant I got to keep him.

That was before he came closer, that was before he took in my scent and got to know who I am, what I am.

Emily was right. I still loved the lord alpha even when his tongue was inches down another woman's throat, even when he was making love with her. I still saw the man I'm supposed to call mine even when he told me that he saved me by mistake, that creatures like me derseved to die. I loved him as he brought my meals to my room and then gave me his steel hard and broad back to look at while he went to enjoy a meal with another woman.

But Emily was wrong about one thing, lord Lycidas didn't respect me. He didn't even see me as the dirt that supports the soles of his feet when he walks. That man wouldn't notice me even if I was standing alone in a room.

If this is what it's like to have a beloved, then I don't want it, I don't want the respect, I don't want the love, I don't want the care and I definitely don't want him.