Of Wings And Claws

CHAPTER 11

Weak.

That's the first word among many others that I can use to describe myself right now. Well, us, Emily and I.

It's been three days, no food, no water. Yes we're supernatural but we are not God. If this goes on for much longer, Lycidas can have the maggots feasting on our flesh as prisoners.

Emily spends most of her time sleeping, unconscious, she hasn't spoken a word in two days and all I hear from her are whimpers and hisses when she's turning in her sleep. The skin around her neck is a disturbing dull red color, like the the color of rust in water just like my wrists. I've tried wiggling my wrists out the the cuffs but that has only gotten me burned skin and numb hands, I can barely feel anything I touch.

I stick my tongue out and wet my dry chipped lips. The salivary glands in my mouth seems to be in some sort of protest because we are not on the same side at all.

My stomach roars loudly and I shift against the moldy wall preaparing to sleep. I hiss as sharp pains attack my insides and my stomach feels like it's on fire.

I lay on the floor on my back with my knees probbed up and bent as I try to concentrate, calling for some sleep. Just a nap. My head snaps towards the door of the cell as I hear very light footsteps. It's almost like in those romantic movies Emily loved so much, when the female is kidnapped and the male comes as a knight in shining amour to save the damsel, and she starts seeing him as her hero, saviour, angel, so on and so forth. For me it's like a light has been switched on from heaven and he is standing under it ready to scoop me up in his steel hard muscles.

He wore a shirt today, as black as my soul. It clings to him like a second skin making me jealous, I wish I was that close. He stands there his eyes boring a hole to my soul with pity and sadness in his eyes and I just know I'm hallucinating because Lord Lycidas bears no emotions, not for me atleast.

I chuckle, the sound weak and pathetic even to my own ears, I sound like a broken record, a coughing goat.

"Great, now I'm even hallucinating about him" I click my tongue in annoyance and look up at the dirty ceiling.

"Lord alpha if you're real, please let Emily go, she didn't do anything. I did talk to the daywalker but I didn't steal your ring" I take a huge breath, "I talked to him, she had nothing to do with that, she didn't even know I talked to him. Please let her go, she's not going to survive this. Emily's not a nature fae like me, she can't absorb energy from the things mother nature provides around her. That thing around her neck is killing her. Please, I'm begging you, you can even kill me if you want" A sob rakes through my body and I cough painfully.

I don't know why I'm telling lord Lycidas all this, it's not like he cares or anything. I haven't talked to anybody in two days, that's why. But for the hundred time in my life, I feel the little hope in me shutter as I turn to look at where the lord alpha was and find no one, not even the light he came with. I'm left alone, cold, broken, afraid, hopeless and hungry.

Hallucination.

I laugh at myself, I break into a fit of laughter until my empty intestines feels like they are touching my backbone.

"Pathetic" I curse myself.

I feel myself starting to slip into the familiar darkness, finally sleep.
Sleeping was one of my favourite things to do, nothing bothers you there, it's like you're half dead and half alive, it's like being friends with benefits with dead. You can't feel the pain, you can't think of anyone. But unfortunately for me, he's there, even in my deepest slumber, he lurks in the darkness but this time his eyes don't hold the coldness they always do. They have a warmth I've never seen in them before,not even when he's with Hebe. He looks at me like a beloved should, like he should have the first time he saw me, like he should everyday.

"I know I've messed up baby girl, I know you want answers. Just give me some time, my world, trust me."

My eyes snap open at the sound of the lock opening. Here we go again. I don't even bother looking because I know I'm at it again, not like I have the energy anyways.

"Emily, Melody. Wake up. I've brought food and water" Mikael's voice reach my ears and his sentence make my stomach heat up in hunger.

I feel the shuffling of clothes behind me and I close my eyes hoping it will be over soon. I realise Mikael is shaking Emily out of her sleep.

"Damn it, Emily talk to me. Wake up!" Mikael's voice sounds too real for it to be a hallucination. But lord Lycidas looked real too, anyways I make a fool out of myself again and talk still facing the other direction.

"You know beta, if you care so much for your her, you wouldn't have brought her here, you would've fought for her because she's innocent." I breath through my mouth, "if anything happens to her, just tell your Alpha that both you and him and your entire pack are dead"

Silence follows that. Yep, I was definitely and utterly out of my mind.

I hear the door of the cell burst open again. That got me wanting to turn around. Warm hands grip my forearms and pulls me up gentle.

"Potante, stay with me"

Anwar.

I chuckle as I feel him unlock my wrists and ankles.

"Please take Emily to the hospital Anwar. She... she's, she can't...-"

"Shhh, I got you, everything's going to be alright" his voice gets muffled by the second. "No no, look at me, stay awake" I want to but my eyes feel heavy. They say your sense of hearing is the last to go when you die because I can still hear Anwar begging me to not close my eyes, in the distance, I can hear someone crying, calling out to the moon goddess to save her. I wonder what's with that. I hear another voice calling my name, begging me to open my eyes but I don't want to fight anymore, Emily and I always dreamed of saving other creatures that were oppressed, saving those who were labelled inferior, saving the world the same world that has given us nothing but heated side eye glares and nothing to live for. Right now, the world can screw itself.

I think I'm dead, but a howl, a pained and disdain howl is the last thing I hear before I accept defeat.

In the same darkness comes flashes, like lightening. Pictures, Emily and I sitting on our worn out couch, faces white with flour as we lick a spoon we had used to stir the flour. Em and I walking around the park, feeding birds. Em and I running from an enraged daywalker's house. The two of us jumping on the bed like little kids, excited because Emily had gotten a job. The two of us again, dancing in the rain, singing a song I've forgotten the words to.

Ariel, him and I are sitting on my bed, him teaching me how to block him from reading my mind, him and I fighting over the last fry on my plate, him and I laughing at Elena's form dangling mid air.

Anwar, I see a picture of him I've never seen before, he is standing next to my bed watching me sleep, his hands are behind his back and he stands rigid like a guard on duty. When was that?

When I see lord Lycidas, I suddenly wish the dying process would speed up. There's nothing new in what I see, cold black orbs staring at my soul, him turning his back on me time and time again, him telling me that saving me was a mistake, him and Hebe.

I think at the end of the day what finishes me off completely is not the hunger and thirst, nor the iron running in my system.

It's him.

It's the lord alphas' neverending rejection, the neverending heartbreak.

I think what finishes me off is not the deprivation of breath each time I see him in another woman's arms.

What finishes me off, is the lack of enthusiasm,energy and courage to actually fight for my breath because...

What am I actually fighting for?.

I have nothing to live for.