I know, I love you

Chapter 1

Summer break was coming to an end, I couldn't believe I would go from an 8th grader to a Freshman in Highschool. I couldn't wait to leave my child like image behind even though, I will always be daddy's little girl. It's always been my dad and I since I was 2 days old. My mother never wanted children and wanted to end her pregnancy but, my dad begged my mother to keep me. He told her if she kept me he would raise me alone. She agreed and shortly after I was born my parents ended their relationship leaving my dad a single parent. According to my dad my parents did not end on back terms. My mother just couldn't be around me because she felt so guilty not wanting me. I get it, not everyone wants children. I don't hate my mom but, I would be lying if I said I don't feel like I'm missing out on a mother daughter relationship.

"Sanjai are you ready ?" my dad yelled from the living room. Every Friday my dad and I go out to dinner since he works late Monday - Thursday. I swear he sleeps in his office. I never see my dad until Friday. He leaves at 6am Monday morning and I do not see him until Friday evening. Maybe he does come home super late but I'm never awake to verify. "I'm coming dad!" I replied. The truth was I wasn't ready at all. Instead of getting dressed 3 hours ago like I was supposed to, I was on the phone coordinating my first day of school outfit with my best friend Aaliyah. Even though, school wasn't for another week. I quickly threw on my new grey wide leg leggings from Aerie, a white crop top and my white platform converse. Ugh... now it was time to do my hair. I seriously have a love hate relationship with my natural hair.

I quickly rubbed my favorite leave in conditioner through my matted curly locks to give it some moisture and definition. Then, I shook my head like a mad woman for the perfect curly fro shape. I can not forget my mascara, blush lip gloss ritual. I can not leave the house without it otherwise, I feel incomplete. I grab my purse rushing out my bed room almost forgetting to put on my favorite vanilla scent perfume. I rushed down the hall towards the steps. Soon as I began walking down the steps my dad yells " Sanjai!" "I'm literally right here dad" I said with a slight attitude. " what took so long... were you putting on your mask again?" he laughed. " Haha very funny" I said while being embraced by his arms. " you know I have to mess with you baby girl... it's all out of love" "I know dad" I replied while hugging him tighter.

" Dad you smell really good... and is this a new suit?" My dad being his corny self spins around giving me a 360 view of his new suit. " yes is is baby girl.. your dad has swag huh!" I can not believe my dad just said swag.... who taught him that word anyway. " Dad... no one says swag anymore it's literally 2023. I burst into laugher because why is my dad the corniest but coolest person I know. My dad has always been my Idol/inspiration. He went from a single dad in college working at a grocery store, to a VP engineer at Samsung. " Alright baby girl let's go before it get's too late". I could tell my dad was exhausted but he never skips out on father daughter dates no matter what.

My dad and I get in the car and take off down the road. "By the way baby girl.. what do you have a taste for?" Just then my stomach began growling louder than the jazz music playing on the radio. We both burst out into laughter. " Honestly" I said looking in my dad's direction, anything is fine." "How about deep dish pizza.. I've been craving that for a while." "Sure I replied while laying my head against the cold passenger window. I've must have fallen a sleep at some point because soon as the car stopped moving I jolted awake. " long night on the phone with Aaliyah huh?" my dad asked while taking off his seat belt. " yup, she's my bestfriend and we're excited about starting high school. We've literally been planning this moment since 3rd grade". I could tell something was wrong, my dad went from joking and smiling to a straight face. He looked like his soul left his body for a second. " Okay baby girl.. let's go eat before your stomach starts yelling again".

I get out the car and instantly feel a cold breeze. I should have bought a jacket considering how wishy washy the weather is here in Ohio. " Hello Mr. Miller we have a table reserved for you over here" The hostess says with a smile. When did he book reservations for this fancy Italian pizzeria? I thought to myself. Did he reserve it before asking me what I wanted to eat in hopes I would say I don't care? I never knew Pizza could be considered fine dinning... but here we are. Not only was this Pizza place reservations only, there were chandeliers above every table. As we sat down I could tell there was something on my dad's mind. " sooo baby girl pick anything you want no matter the price, even dessert." He say's while hanging his suit jacket on the back of the chair. I was used to getting princess treatment but, something felt off. " Dad are you okay" " yes baby girl why do you ask?" I pretend to look through the menu to avoid eye contact with my dad. " nothings wrong baby girl.... I'm just tired, that's all."

Things fell silent between us for what felt like forever. "Sanjai.. actually..." Just as my dad was about to speak the server came to take our order. " Hello my name is David and I'll be your server, what can I get started for you?" "Take it away baby girl." My dad says while folding up his menu. I wasn't even hungry anymore after seeing that expression on my dad's face earlier. I sigh, "we'll have 2 deep dish peperoni pizza's , garlic bread sticks, a house salad and sparkling water with lemon". " Any wine for you sir?" David stands closer to my dad" " yes your best red wine please" " would you like a glass of wine or the entire bottle at your table sir?" My dad runs his hand across his head, "I'll take the entire bottle, thanks". My eyes shot up towards my dads direction making us lock eyes. "what?" he says while giving the menu's to David. " Dad you know I cant drive yet, what if you get too drunk!". "calm down baby girl, it's going to take more than 1 bottle of wine to get me drunk". I don't know if I should be happy or concerned because, when did my dad become a alcoholic.

"So dad... what were you going to say earlier?" I watched my dad drink an entire glass of wine in less than 2 seconds. He puts the wine glass down on the table and takes a deep breath. " sooo...I got a promotion..." Excitement took over my face, "that's great dad". I could tell something was wrong because he didn't look excited. "Aren't you excited?.. you've worked so hard" " yes I'm happy baby girl, it's more money which means I can provide more for you" "That's great dad" I say while taking a bite of pizza. "However baby girl, we will have to move". My dad couldn't even look in my direction after that statement. " Dad we don't need a bigger house" I laughed. Still my dad was not joking nor smiling. " No baby girl out of the country..." " What!" I shouted. The entire restaurant fell silent. " Dad it's my freshman year of high school one week from now!, Aaliyah and I have so much planned... I..." I could feel my face getting hot and the tears were starting to blur my vison. Holding back my tear's I asked " exactly where out of the country?" I could barley see my dad through the tears in my eyes but I could hear the heart break in the words he spoke. " South... South Korea."

(Here is Sanjai's outfit for reference minus the cardigan)