Found her

Chapter 45 | Mourn Him

Listen to ^^ Love in the Dark and cry to this chapter to get full experience. I love you all!

S A D I E

My life seemed to have lost its meaning.

I don't know how I lived without him.

It's so empty. Because Lucas Edwards took too much space, he filled my life with joy and kisses and laughter.

It's been almost three weeks, and there has been no call, no text, nothing.

But that's what I wanted, right?

'Sadie.' Jax says, dragging out the E. 'You're zoning out again.'

I shake my head, trying to get back to the present. 'Yeah, sorry. What were we talking about?'

Aleena and Jax share a look before turning back to me. 'We, are... uh- worried.' Jax starts.

Confused, I say. 'Worried? About what?'

Aleena looks exasperated. 'You, Sadie! You won't talk about it, you won't tell us what happened- Where are you going?'

I stand up and shoulder my bag. 'I don't wanna talk about this.'

'Sadie!'

I ignore them and walk away from the school's front yard and towards the car park. When I'm in the comfort of my car, I break down.

I miss him, everything about him. Forget the pain, the fame, the hurt, I miss the kissing and laughing and loving.

I hate you Lucas Edwards, for what you've done. I hate the fact that even when you're gone, you are still here, you still take too much space. Damn you, Lucas Edwards.

You ruined me.

You ruined me by healing me. You left your warm hands imprinted on my body, keeping me yours, suffocating me. No matter how far you are now, no matter how gone, you will always be mine, and that's what hurts.

Not the lies, or the secrets, but the fact that I will never, in any way possible, get over you. Because no one stops loving there first love. And you? You were my first, but will also be my very last.

Crying in my car is probably not the best idea, especially not in my school's car park, so it should be expected that someone might see me. Except the person who saw me is probably the last person I really want to see right now.

'Luna, I'm really not in the mood.' I say, wiping my eyes and exiting the car, heading back towards the school. But of course, Luna doesn't budge.

'Why are you crying, little Sadie?' She says in a baby voice. 'Trouble in paradise?'

I ignore her and keep walking determinedly towards our table.

'You know.' A new voice adds, and I turn around to see Angelina standing with her herd of cheerleaders. 'The tabloids haven't been mentioning anything about you two...' She trails off thoughtfully.

'Oh no, Sadie.' Elliana pouts. 'Have you and your boyfriend broken up?'

I groan and still don't say anything.

'Has he finally realised he's much bigger than a pathetic, whiny, clingy, little girl?'

That caused me to freeze, because, of course, cheating.

Is that what he was keeping? He cheated?

That irrational, dumb part of my brain says no, because that's Lucas, our Luca, he loves us, loves me. He'd never cheat, he was raised by Camilla Edwards for goodness sake.