Beyond the Sound | Yuzuru Hanyu

25.

That statement was bigger than what either of them wanted to admit.

Yuzuru was opening the game.

He didn't say it directly, but the implication was there.

The question of what would happen when all of this was done, when he was finished with his show and away from her life was very present for both of them.

He didn't hide that he was thinking about it as much as she was.

"I'm sleepy." was the only thing she said after that.

Yuzuru didn't have to be a genius to know that she was dodging the conversation.

She turned on the bed, leaving his embrace and placing as much distance from him as she could, back turned to him.

Sighing, he knew that there was no point in trying to get anything else from her.

"Good night." he said softly, only to never get a reply in return.

🎚️

Yuzuru woke up to an empty bed.

The conversation of the previous night was still present in his head. The question now was if she was going to pretend it didn't happen and avoid the topic, or actually discuss it with him.

He didn't expect her to choose the second option, and that was only confirmed when he got to the kitchen and saw Maya and Chiara eating.

"Oh... you could have told me you had company... Hello, Hanyu-san." Chiara was quick to say with her usual smirk.

"Good morning, Chiara. You can call me Yuzuru, you know?"

"Seems fair. I will."

He approached Maya carefully, a bit unsure about what her mood was on that morning.

A simple kiss on her cheek made the girl push him away with a serious expression.

"Ok." he said, trying to contain his emotions.

"Oh... trouble in paradise?"

"Don't. I'm not in the mood, Chiara."

The answer was so aggressive that Maya's best friend just raised her hands and left the room saying "I don't want to fight. Tell me when you're out of that mood of yours."

Yuzuru waited for the other girl to be gone before sitting by her side, watching her carefully.

"I'm really trying to understand, Maya. I don't want to fight."

"I told you I was in a mood yesterday."

"You were fine for a while."

"I don't want to talk about it."

He took a deep breath, knowing that this would all be useless if they ended up fighting, and just decided to change the subject.

"Should we talk about work, then?"

"Well, you said it yourself, everything is settled."

"You have everything you need?"

"You got my list, didn't you?"

"Yes. It's all arranged."

During the last month, Maya had more than enough time to map out everything she would need for the show and solve that exciting challenge that they had given her the previous year. Everything was coming to an end after all.

"Then I don't need anything else."

"Ok, then."

Yuzuru wondered if there was anything he could do to improve the situation but every possibility that ran through his head only told him that this was something that she had to figure out by herself. Just like he did.

"I know you didn't mean it in a bad way." she eventually said.

"Yeah."

"I just need to think."

"I figured as much."

"And I'm afraid to open that question."

"I know. I will give you space."

"You're leaving?"

Her tone was a mix of relief and sadness. Yuzuru figured that she needed to be alone, even if she enjoyed his presence."

"Yeah. I'll make the trip back before my parents start to worry."

"Hum... good idea."

He wondered if there was anything he could say before going. Something... Anything...

"I will text you."

Maya looked at him with an incredulous expression. She knew from the previous experience how unlikely that was.

"Sure."

The tone of her voice alone was enough to let him know that she didn't believe it for a second.

"I will, though."

"Ok."

Wordlessly, Yuzuru picked up his things before getting close to her once again.

"Can I kiss you goodbye?"

She considered it for a few seconds before finally nodding in answer, not seeming overly excited.

Yuzuru just pecked her lips softly, giving her a weak smile before finally going to the door by himself.

"Bye." he heard her whispered voice.

"Bye, beautiful. I will see you soon."

🎚️

Seeing Yuzuru leave with that expression on his face pained her more than she wanted to admit.

Maya knew she was overreacting, that all of his doubts were more than valid.

The problem was that she tended to overthink things.

When he indirectly mentioned that all of this between them could be a mistake, Maya's overthinking started working almost right away.

It wasn't his fault in any way, the doubts were already there.

As much as she tried to hide under empty words, the reality was that she had developed feelings for the skater a long time ago and was now dealing with a whole existential crisis.

It had already been there before the previous night but it was barely a problem when the skater had been out of her life for the past month.

She didn't do commitment, she didn't do relationships.

All of the drama inside her head wasn't even because she couldn't admit that Yuzuru made her want more. It was only that she was now very aware that when she asked for what they had now, things were instantly set.

Why would he want more?

Inside her head, there was no way that Yuzuru felt like a relationship between them would work.

His answer on the previous night had been consuming all of her thoughts.

'Ask me after the show' he had said, making her head turn into a whole overdrive.

Her brain made a quick conclusion.

Yuzuru wasn't keen on continuing whatever they had and the day of the show would mark the end.