Beyond the Sound | Yuzuru Hanyu

57.

Maya wasn't exactly the happiest when it came time for her mother to go back to Italy.

Having her around in the past days was incredible, the one thing missing from her life in Japan.

Still, after a few days of sharing the happiness of her engagement to Yuzu with her mother, she still had to go.

She had to admit that her life seemed like a mess at that moment.

Yuzuru was preparing for Fantasy on Ice while she worked in Tokyo. They spoke every day but she missed him constantly and things just seemed to be even worse now that they were engaged.

It wasn't as if much had changed, it was just that Maya knew that they would have to make changes in the future for their married life to work.

It wasn't as if she could handle being away from her husband on most days and traveling to Sendai every once in a while.

Obviously, Yuzuru wasn't planning on moving training facilities either so it was expected that they would have a lot of things to settle before the wedding.

Unfortunately, this led to fights more often than not.

It was clear that neither of them wanted to be mad at one another but it was just too hard to deal with everything when you were apart.

On some days, Maya even considered if this wasn't all a huge mistake, and if they could even be together at all.

Everything was going fine until she mentioned these doubts to Yuzu in one of their video calls

"I don't know if I can do this, Yuzu... Maybe it's a mistake."

"What's a mistake?"

"You know what I mean..."

Maya simply couldn't say it out loud. She knew he wouldn't like to hear it, even if her heart said that she should.

"You can't possibly mean what I think you do, Maya."

She saw his face and knew that he wasn't happy at all. Maya could have sworn she had never seen him that mad before and all of that rage was directed straight at her.

"This is a mess."

"A mess or not, we said we would figure it out and we will. Going through the easy way and giving up is not the way I do things."

"I know and I feel terrible, but maybe we rushed things."

"You're having doubts."

Maya knew he didn't mean it the way it sounded, but it was easy to tell just how enraged he looked, maybe even a bit hurt.

"I just don't know how we will be able to fix this. I love my job."

Yuzuru visibly sighed. He knew he was already late for his ice session but it just felt like leaving the situation like this would make it even worse.

She noticed his eyes on the clock and quickly realized the situation as well.

"Go. You need to train, I know."

"I don't want to leave it like this..."

"We can talk later about it."

"Maya..."

"Just go. Bye, Yuzu."

He didn't even have a chance to say it back because the girl disconnected the call right away, not allowing him to say his goodbyes. Yuzuru noted that she ended the call without their usual I Love You's and even if his brain told him not to overreact, his sensitive heart knew it was just another indication that something wasn't right.

Why did these things always have to happen when he was so busy?

Fantasy on Ice was starting in a week and he was still reviewing his program for the show. Had this been like any other situation, he would be taking the next train to Tokyo and have the dreaded talk in person.

This time, however, he couldn't do that.

Not with the show starting in just a few days.

Maybe that would be a big mistake that he wouldn't forgive himself to make, but Yuzuru had learned a long time ago that his career was his priority. That was a very hard chip to reset.

It turned out to be a huge mistake.

Maya didn't call on the next day and he forced himself to believe that it was because of work, she had mentioned she was busy as well, it had to be that.

But then when he finally managed to call her only a few days later, everything in her face told him that she was drifting away.

When it came the time for him to travel to Tokyo for the Makuhari shows, Maya had simply drowned herself in work like never before. He texted her in an attempt to see her and maybe even stay the night with her but she just dismissed him completely with the excuse of the shows at the Dome.

Every day he felt her pull away even more.

The nights were filled with unshed tears and doubts.

Even when he tried to fix things by force, going to Maya's apartment, Chiara stopped him.

"Not now, Yuzuru."

"but..."

"I didn't want to get in the middle of you but Maya is in a pretty bad place right now and I don't think that having you here is going to help."

"I have to talk with her, Chiara."

"Do your show and come back later."

"I can feel her pulling away. I can't lose her because she won't talk to me."

"Maybe that's what she needs right now. Sometimes, when you love someone, you have to let them go."

"You have to be joking..."

"Yuzuru... Please go. You have a really good-looking face that I don't want to ruin just before you have to skate in front of thousands of people."

"But..."

"Just go!"

The threat was enough for him to back away. He had to leave the apartment and hope that she would give him a chance to talk after the shows were done. He would certainly come back and try.

Whatever was going on, they were strong enough to deal with it. He just had to find a way for her to listen.