Beyond the Sound | Yuzuru Hanyu

42.

The emotional charge of the date at that venue was unlike anything Maya had felt before.

She wasn't even in Japan at the time of the disaster but she wanted to cry constantly just from the knowledge of what had happened on that very same day just a few years prior.

She didn't, though.

Maya knew that more than any other time, she needed to be her strongest on that day.

You see, most of the time, Yuzuru would easily be able to give her some encouraging words but on that day, he was suffering too much. He was the one that needed her.

She walked into the venue by his side and ignored the looks of the skaters who were unaware of her.

None of that mattered when he needed her support.

Yuzuru skated on the ice alone to a song and program that was a memorial to the sad events, even before everyone else had warmed up.

On the hour that marked the disaster, they held a small ceremony that was as heartbreaking as the rest of the day.

The mood was heavy, as were the emotions of everyone who was there.

As strong as she found herself to be, the sound of the siren ended up being the one thing that broke her on that day.

It was just that seeing Yuzuru looking so emotionally wrecked and weak paired with the traumatizing sound was impossible for her to handle.

She recovered fast, knowing that being a wreck wouldn't help him get through such an intense day.

Even during the show, you could see how everything was different. How heavy the mood was and even how Yuzuru's skating differed just because of how he was feeling.

Maya couldn't be sure how much the trauma extended for him, but the effect on his mood so many years later was enough to know that it was deeply engraved into everything he was.

If anything, all that experience did was make her love him more.

That man was not afraid to show the extent of his pain and that was commendable in a world where everyone just wanted to look happy and fulfilled all the time. When everyone lived off the appearances on social media.

By the end of the show, she could slowly see him brightening up. It was only normal that it took a while for him to resume his old self, but she was happy to see the smiles increasing and the heavy frown slowly fading.

He came to her after the show, as she helped the sound team wrap up for the night and merely gave her a soft gesture to follow him.

"Can we go?" he mumbled as soon as they were alone.

"Of course. Is everything done here for you?"

"yeah, I already sent most people home."

"Let's go then. How are you?"

"honestly? Just tired."

"You can rest now, baby."

Arriving home on that night felt like an incredibly relieving feeling.

It just seemed like getting to a familiar place after such a heavy day made things just a bit better.

Yuzuru just laid on the bed as they arrived, not bothering to change his clothes at all.

"Maya... Come to bed." he begged. "I need you."

She dutifully obeyed, removing her clothes and getting just a shirt over her body to get near him as quickly as possible.

"Today was intense." she muttered eventually.

"I know."

"Even for me... There was a point that I couldn't hold my tears."

"I saw."

It didn't surprise her that even though he was suffering, Yuzuru didn't turn off his hyper-aware state of mind and still noticed everything around him.

"Thank you for letting me share this date with you. I know it was a hard day."

"It was better with you. I'm the one who has to say thank you."

"You're feeling better?"

"Yeah. Now that I finished the show, I'm better."

"you still have one day left."

"Tomorrow will be lighter. I was dreading to perform on the day of the disaster. I still wanted to perform, but I knew I couldn't relax until the show was done."

"Good. I was starting to miss that genuine smile on your face."

Maya kissed his lips and realized that she hadn't done that at all since almost 24 hours prior when she woke up to an empty bed.

"I know I haven't been the best boyfriend lately..."

"Shut up."

"You came to Sendai to watch me work and suffer."

"Stop being ridiculous."

"But..."

"No, Yuzu. I'm thankful to be here with you, not only for the good moments but also for the painful ones. Experiencing all of this only made me love you more."

"Whenever you're like this, Maya, I just want to marry you on the spot."

Seeing Yuzu making jokes was certainly a relief after such a heavy day.

Even with all the bottled emotions, he tried to lighten up the mood now and she was happy to see him back.

"You've been mentioning marriage too much..."

"I'm just mentally preparing you"

"What for?"

"For whenever I choose to propose. I don't want you to be speechless."

"I doubt that will work, honey."

"I don't care. I just haven't figured out how I will do it."

"You're being ridiculous again. You have more than enough on your plate to even think about that now."

"After Notte, I'm mostly free."

"Are you?"

"I have Stars on Ice, but that should be easy and then FaoI as usual. The rest of the time is just a few interviews and shoots"

"Isn't Stars on Ice a bunch of shows in a row?"

"10 shows in 11 or 12 days, not sure."

"You call that being free?"

Maya was shocked, even if by now she should have known better.

"I'm not organizing anything, just skating... So yeah."

"Unbelievable... You're unbelievable."