Beyond the Sound | Yuzuru Hanyu

34.

Yuzuru had often considered how their talk would go and what he would tell her.

He had known of his feelings for her a long time ago, maybe even when she came to Yokohama to help him.

Agreeing on their no-commitment thing had just been a strategy to at least have her in some kind of way.

Now, however, as he noticed the slow shift of behavior from her, Yuzuru had hopes, high ones.

Dropping the "I love you" bomb on her wasn't how he planned to do things but given just how sensitive and honest their conversation had become, he just couldn't help but say it to her gorgeous face.

"Yuzu..."

If tears had been on her face before, Maya was now fully crying and he only hoped that he hadn't read the situation completely wrong.

Still, with her accepting his embrace as he tried to make those tears stop, he figured that at the very least, she didn't seem to be mad at him.

"Maya... say something... hit me if I'm an idiot but do say something."

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Because you said you didn't do relationships..."

That only made her cry harder.

"Beautiful... come on, tell me something."

"We're both idiots, that's all I want to tell you. I've been crying myself to sleep every time you leave, telling myself I'm stupid for falling in love with you, and yet..."

"Say that again." he begged of her, now a bit teary himself at how stupid they both seemed to be.

"I love you, you silly man."

Yuzuru stopped her from saying anything else and just kissed her lips. The sheer intensity of their exchange was only highlighted by the fact that they were standing on that stage, in the venue where he had just made history and where just a few hours ago, thousands of people had been.

"We're both helpless, aren't we?"

"Yeah"

Maya just enjoyed his embrace, his warmth, and all the emotional exchange as they stayed in silence for a little while, trying to gather all the emotions.

"Since when?" he eventually asked, breaking the silence that had settled between them.

"It's dumb but I'm not even sure myself. Even when you came to my apartment that first time, part of me just knew that I was in complete denial. Then you completely vanished on that month and I think it was more than clear then."

"You will never let me live with that one..."

Smiling, Maya couldn't help but be curious as well.

"What about you?"

"Yokohama."

Maya stared at him incredulously. There was no way he knew that early, they had just met once before that.

"No."

"Yes."

"Yuzuru, you know that's crazy?"

"I know. But there was a reason I kissed you in that changing room and it wasn't just physical attraction... You should know by now that I never do things the normal way."

"And you came to Tokyo after Hachinohe."

"Yeah."

"On your birthday."

"I know"

"You came to me at 4 a.m. when you should be celebrating with your family."

"I missed you. I took the only night Shinkansen. All I wanted was to see you on that day, even if I got to Tokyo and you told me to wait on the street until it was a proper hour."

"You're crazy."

"My mom asked me who the girl was on the next day."

Maya couldn't help but think about her conversation with Yumi and how she implied that they were both fooling each other.

She knew.

"And you told her."

"No, she figured it out by herself by the time of the show, just by seeing us work together."

"Are we that obvious?"

"Only to those looking carefully enough." Yuzuru kissed her cheek and grabbed her hand again. "As beautiful as your playing is, I don't want to see you in pain."

"You encouraged me to try again. You and your stubborn way of dealing with the pain."

"It's different."

"Is it?"

"Skating is all I know how to do."

"Stop being ridiculous."

"It's true though."

"Music was all I knew too."

"I reckon that eventually, I will have to find something else when my body doesn't allow me to keep going. Right now, even with a few injuries along the way, I've been able to heal and keep going."

"I'm not suggesting you to stop skating. I know very well how much it all means to you. My injury is different because realistically, it will never heal. I will always be worried whenever you push too far because I worry you suffer from the same and lose all of this that you love so much."

Looking around at the huge venue that had been once completely full gave those words even more meaning.

"This gives me a new perspective on why you looked so worried with my back... I mean... not now but when I came here to Tokyo on that weekend."

"Yeah. But again, the fact that I care so much about you means that even the most insignificant of pain will make me worry about you. It isn't just about my previous experiences."

"You just make me want to kiss you all the time, you know?"

"I'm starting to understand why you wanted to wait until you finished the show. If we were like this before, I doubt any work would've been done."

Yuzuru couldn't help but have a permanent smile on his face as he heard her words. She was probably right.

"How's your schedule the next week?"

"Mostly free, why?"

"I'm going back to Sendai today."

"Already?" she asked with disappointment.

"I have an interview tomorrow with Disney... I didn't plan on having a reason to stay in Tokyo."

"Yeah."

"You could come with me..."