Beyond the Sound | Yuzuru Hanyu

59.

When Chiara handed her the credentials for backstage access to the Sendai shows, Maya knew that this would be her last chance.

The big problem was that she wasn't sure to be able to say it to his face.

Maya simply couldn't bear to break his heart.

Yet, until she found a valuable solution, this was the path she had to take.

She loved him deeply and just hoped that his love would be enough to forgive her once this was all settled down and the threat neutralized.

The big problem at that moment was that she needed to assess what was going on and find out who was behind this. Going back to his arms would only be possible when she knew for sure that Yuzuru was safe.

What Maya couldn't possibly predict was his reaction.

Yuzuru seemed so happy when she first entered the venue...

Unfortunately, that would last only a few seconds. 

Looking at her face was more than enough to know that something was going on.

He dragged her to his changing room and she had tears on her face even before the door closed. What followed was merely the demise of what was a very strong bond.

Maya allowed him to ask what was going on and always answered him in curt answers, knowing that it would be really easy for him to turn her around.

After almost half an hour of what was mostly his monologue, apologizing for all sorts of things he hadn't even done, Maya took the ring on her finger and placed it on his hand.

"I can't do this."

Yuzuru started shaking, not able to believe what was happening just when he thought that he would have her back.

"You... You don't want to marry me?"

"We have too many differences. I can't."

"I love you."

"It doesn't matter."

It hurt her to say those words, but she was doing what needed to be done.

"It matters to me!" he replied in an angry and frustrated tone. "This can't be happening to me... Did anything happen besides our fight?"

He was suspicious, of course he was. Maya knew how intelligent this man was and how hard it was to lie to him. Still, one last sentence would bring the nail to the coffin.

"I just don't love you anymore. Maybe I never did."

"Excuse me? You said it... so many times, Maya."

His expression was a mix of disbelief and pain, all at the same time.

"I just wanted a good time, it was fun for a while but it's a bit too much now."

Had this been any other situation, Yuzuru would have laughed at that moment, knowing well that she couldn't possibly be serious. Still, with all the things that had been said on that night, that final blow was more than enough to make him cave and believe.

"If you do this, Maya... I will never want to see you again. I won't be able to look at your face a single day of my life."

Maya held her tears in. She was starting to realize that maybe the efforts to convince him that this was real ended up ruining her already minimal chances of ever being forgiven.

If only I could tell you, my love, how much this hurts me.

Again, she was too worried about his safety. If she had to sacrifice any chances of having him in her life again, then so be it. At least he would be alive.

"Then I guess it's a goodbye."

He was in complete silence as she passed him. Yuzuru allowed her to leave without a single argument, without a single touch.

The ring on his hand was just proof of the painful moment that had just happened. He simply couldn't believe that the woman he loved was capable of saying those things to his face.

All of his logic was completely thrown out the window. Yuzuru didn't even take a few seconds to consider that something had to be seriously wrong, that this wasn't his Maya talking.

He was so completely consumed by the pain of that moment that it would be the one thing that dictated the demise of their bond.

His mother entered the room just after he had collapsed on the ground, chest tightening while he looked at the ring. It wasn't even about the marriage, it was just the visual representation of the end of a relationship that in his heart was going to be forever.

Yumi must have noted something he didn't because she panicked as soon as she entered that room and started fumbling around his things.

It was only a few minutes later that he realized she had been asking him where his inhaler was.

Asthma.

Of course, the stress would make him have a flare.

He was so out of it that he didn't answer his mom.

The salvation was that she knew the usual places.

As she finally made him breathe in the medication, Yuzuru's head was still completely out of it.

He just couldn't believe this was happening.

"Yuzuru... what the hell is going on?" Yumi eventually asked in panic after the situation had calmed down slightly after his small attack.

"Maya."

"What about her? Did you two finally talk?"

It was then that he showed her the piece of jewelry in his hand, making the woman gasp audibly.

"It's over."

"Why? You two seemed great just a few weeks ago."

"I don't fucking know!" he screamed way too loud, only to apologize right after. "She says she doesn't love me anymore."

Yumi, being a bit more rational at that moment, tried to reason with him.

"This doesn't seem like her. Are you sure everything was ok?"

"I don't care anymore, mom. I don't ever want to see her again. The things she said...."

"Yuzuru..."

"Never again, mom!"