Just one turned into two, turned into three, turned into four, so many I lost count while I could only beg for more, just one kiss you begged, please you said, and I could not help when I gave in, intoxicated by your presence, I let myself pretend, drowning in your pretty words, drowning in all the things you said, and I know your type, it's like a game you like to play, wear them out until your bored and then find yourself another, but I am not the same as you, how could you expect me not to fall? When you pulled me to the edge, was I not supposed to stumble? Just pretty lies from a pretty mouth that leaves me breathless, and i know I am not allowed to care, I have to hold it all in, fight it all back, how dare I fall for you? When you chase me so hard, how dare I? You say there will be another, but you don't know me as well as you think, I am not some weak willed girl, and this was not supposed to happen , so you can call bullshit all that you want, but you don't understand my heart, the way it beats for you, and how it breaks for you, you don't understand that I did not mean to love you the way I do, and I know I'll be okay with time, I promise, but I've let you have a part of me that you don't even know is yours, you don't know what I would give for you, here in the dark, my life, my love, my heart, and I know you don't mean it when you say such pretty lies, but I can close my eyes and imagine a life at your side, and if you knew that I would fall for you, you never would have tried, but I would take your lies a thousand times, for a thousand nights, if it meant I got to feel what you make me feel just one time, and i can not help this ache inside, as i try to think of a way to tell you that i think i need you, to tell you that i am jealous of the very air you breathe, because i would give it all to be what you need, i want to be your good days and your bad days, and i want to hold you when i sleep, I want to know the life you've lived and i am jealous just the same for every day i never got to see, I want to know what made you, what shaped you, what broke you and what healed you, i could spend hours just talking to you and be perfectly content, and we both know i am not very religious, but in you i think maybe god has a cruel sense of humor, to let me feel like this when i know you will never truly be mine and still i would worship you just the same.
