I'm okay, I'm just fine, smile and say the right lies, and most of the time I can laugh and make jokes, but you were the first thought on my mind when I woke, and I faltered the last time someone said your name, I stuttered my way through the rest of the day, I tell myself everything will be okay, but there's a part of me that's not quite whole, like it's just slightly misaligned, almost imperceptible, like an upside down page in a book, you would never really know unless you decided to look, and you think it's not a big deal, I can just flip it upsidedown for a moment, at least it's just one page right? Just one page, just out of turn, and suddenly I'm not sure which way is up anymore, how could such a small moment take up so much of my time? Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and then months turned into nothing, turned into silence, turned into an internal riot, how can you just be gone?
I'm okay, I'm just fine, smile and say the right lies, and most of the time I can laugh and make jokes, but you were the first thought on my mind when I woke, and I faltered the last time someone said your name, I stuttered my way through the rest of the day, stumble as I hear your voice, is it really you? An hour of your time is not enough to stop this high, and you taste as sweet as I remember, come back soon you promise? And days turn slowly into never,
Raw inside and hollow in the absence of you, could it be that seeing you for so little is worth the brush of your lips this time?
How can pain blossom like thorns in my chest, an untended garden, I don't know how to even begin to cut you out, like belladonna you are beautiful and deadly, a silent killer undetected by my warning system, scaled my walls so easily and clung to my veins like poison ivy, leaving weeds in your wake that refuse to wither away,
I'm okay, I swear I'm just fine, I can smile and fake all the lies, and most of the time I can laugh and make jokes, but you were the first thought on my mind when I woke, and I faltered the last time someone said your name, I stuttered my way through the rest of the day..
