show me yours | matty healy

chapter thirty-nine

July 9th 2017

She can hear him.

He's in the bathroom, snorting something before the show.

She's the only one left in the green room, the rest are waiting to go on to perform their set at the TRNSMT festival.

She doesn't barge in like she wants to, she can hear the tap running and his throat clearing as she waits impatiently near the settee. Dressed in her outfit ready to go on stage, a grey tank top tucked into her stripy patterned jeans and one of Ross' shirts she definitely didn't steal while it was her turn to do the laundry run.

The door opens, Matty jumps.

"Jesus, Tommie."

He's holding an eyeliner pencil in his hand and nudges her shoulder with his own to pass her. She turns watching him as he walks to the full body mirror and starts attempting to draw on himself.

"We're on in two minutes."

"Yeah, give me five."

"Two minutes, Matt."

He groans, it's a dramatic thing he does with his head thrown back and his eyes closed.

She looks over him, his red nose and dark eyeshadow covered eyes, he's wearing black tight fitting trousers and a black blazer.

"Help me then."

She gives him a look over his shoulder, meeting his eyes in the mirror and his shoulders drop from the hard defensive exterior that they were being held in. "Please."

She walks over, making sure her huff is loud enough for him to catch, "What are you trying to do?"

"Write 'what a shame'."

She nods and makes sure her work is quick, his stomach tenses when her cold fingers first touch it. He sucks his stomach in and holds his breath as she gently presses the pencil into his skin.

Her fingers dance across the we are kings tattoo and he bites down hard on his lip as she caps the pencil and slowly stands, her eyes finally meeting his.

He nods, his way of saying thanks and she hands back the eyeliner to him which he gently takes.

Only instead of letting her hand it over and step back, his fingers wrap around her hand that's still holding onto the pencil.

"Tom-"

She looks up at him, through her lashes with this innocent furrow of her brows that has his heart physically hurting. Or maybe it's just the drugs.

"Hmm?"

"I never said sorry."

She pulls her wrist away, as if he's burned her. Her mind is going to her birthday, to the conversation on the porch.

"That I ruined your birthday."

She shrugs, "I never liked my birthday anyway."

"You love your birthday," He says, "I did it. I made you love your birthday."

She shakes her head, "No, Matty. I just loved spending time with you."

His eyes soften, but she misses it as she steps away and rings her hands together, "You're just too full of yourself to realise it. But the only reason I agreed to those stupid things every year was to spend time with you. Just us-"

"Tom-"

"Guys, you're on." Jamie is appearing in the doorway, that stern look on his face as he had sent Tommie to get him in the first place and now she's late herself.