show me yours | matty healy

chapter forty-five

December 25th 2017

Sniffling and rubbing her nose with the back of her wrist she pulls herself to stand, still clutching the letter in her left hand she rubs her eyes and makes her way to the door. She pulls her familiar red zip up tighter around herself, covering up the AM shirt she wears as her hand meets the door knob.

The breath is knocked right out of her as she steps back and stars out the front door.

"Hey..."

She doesn't say anything. Just closes her mouth and swallows the lump rising in her throat.

His eyes cast down to her hand and he nods his head towards the crumpled paper, "You read the letter?"

"I just finished it."

Matty smiles weakly as he looks at her, "And?"

"And?" She repeats the word right back to him in the same tone.

She can't stop staring at him. It's him, it's really him, it's her Matty. He looks so much more healthy now. His face has colour again, it's bitten red from the cold and he's hiding in his long coat to try and fight off the air. His hair has grown back, she'd seen a photo of him online a few days after he got out. He'd shaved his head. But it's back a curly mess on top of his head now.

"And," He says slowly, hands pushing deeper into his pockets, "What did you think?"

"You were right about one thing." She tells him and he raises one brow, "You're a dickhead."

He nods and looks down at his feet as he closes his eyes. Allen nudges at Tommie's hand, the one still clutching the letter and she looks down at him.

It's as if he's asking her if he can see his owner. Knowing the pain she has been in and that Matty is the one who caused it.

Allen's ears are down and his tail is between his legs as he looks up at her, she smiles softly causing his tail to wag and then she nods.

As soon as he has her approval he jumps at Matty, his ears perked as he slobbers all over him and almost knocks him to the ground.

"Hey, bud, I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"Do you wanna come in?"

He follows her in, hangs his coat on the rack, lines his shoes up against the wall and then lets her lead him to the living room.

His hand fiddles in his pocket for a few moments before he brings out a wrapped gift, "I uh-" He pauses and just slowly holds his hand out, "Merry Christmas-"

"Matt-"

"Please."

She nods and takes it from him, "Wait," He reaches out and clasps both of his hands around hers. She freezes, "Don't open it yet."

She nods, voice quiet, "Okay..."

Her eyes glance down and he lets go quickly. She realises her mistake and tries to reach out for him but he turns away.

"How-How have you been?" She asks him.

He nods and pushes his hands further into the pockets of his trousers, "Good."

It's a lie. They both know it.

"Do you want a drink? Something to-" She curses and then runs into the kitchen, he follows her quickly pursing his lips to try not to laugh when she brings out the burnt pizza.

She sighs, dropping the pan onto the stove and leaning back, "You never were a good cook."

She hits his arm as he lets out a giggle and allows a smile of her own to show for just a moment. He studies it, from the way her eyes have that special little sparkle to the way her cheeks become rosy as they stretch.