The Oaths We Keep

Chapter 33

"So, did I just see what I thought I saw in there?" McClendon asked as Barnes and Miller stood there embarrassed. He had finished processing one of the men they brought in when he decided to get a snack from the machine. McClendon didn't see the whole thing but was sure he had seen enough.

"Dominic, look,...... can we go in here and talk about this?" Barnes asked him, trying her best not to attract more attention. She couldn't believe this happened. Could she have feelings for Miller? She always thought he was handsome, and she hated that she talked to him the way she did. It felt strange to her. How would she explain it to McClendon if she couldn't explain it to herself?

They walked back into the break room and took seats around the table. The three of them looked around at each other, waiting for someone to break the ice. "Okay, I'll start," Miller said after a long silence. "So, I guess you saw us kissing in here, right?"

"Yep, so where did that come from? I thought you two hated each other."

"The truth is I've been attracted to her for a long time. I didn't want to interfere with her and Davis, and I've tried giving her space since. I gave up on trying to let her know how I felt. This must sound so stupid."

"So, what about you, Barnes? What have you got to say?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Dominic. It just felt right. I don't know why I was so mean to him, and then next thing I know, we're kissing."

McClendon looked back and forth at the two people in front of him. "I'm surprised it's taken this long." Barnes and Miller looked astonished at what he said. "I mean, it's so obvious. Two people go at each other like you do; that usually means there's something there."

Miller asked him, "How did you know?"

"Just little things here and there when we worked patrol. The way you avoided making eye contact with her. The way your lips made a subtle smile when you mentioned her name. Then there was how you acted around Davis. Always avoiding talking to him about her." He then looked over at Barnes, "Not to mention how you always tried to outdo Miller when we worked patrol duty like you were showing off. You always asked questions when you didn't see him around, wondering where he was or how you argued with just him, even if there were others around. Then, you go out of your way to keep your distance from him. It's all there, really."

"I did not show off, McClendon," she said defensively.

"Yes, you did," McClendon and Miller said at the same time.

Sheepishly, she responded, "Okay, maybe a little, but if you knew all this time, why didn't you say something, Dominic?"

"Are you kidding? I wasn't going to get my head bit off. Besides, I figured it would come out eventually." He looked at both of them, "Look, it's okay. No one will think less of you if whatever this is works out. If you make each other happy, who cares what anyone says?"

"What do you think Taylor will say when he finds out?" Miller asked McClendon.

"I think he has more important things to worry about right now," he told Miller. "My advice to you both is to work it out for yourselves and let the pieces fall where they may." He looked at his watch, "And I've got to get home, or Anita will have my head." He got up, leaving them both sitting at the table, "I'll see you both tomorrow. Seriously, work this out."

As he walked out of the break area, Barnea and Miller continued to sit there in silence. Miller was the first to speak, "You know it's late. We should talk about this later." He stood to leave, smiling at her as he got up.

"He's right, though," she said. "I haven't had the best of luck regarding relationships. I guess after Davis, I was afraid to reach out again. Especially to another cop. I can't promise anything, but I will try."

"I guess that's all anyone can ask," Miller said. As he opened the door to leave, he looked back at her sitting at the table. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said as he left her sitting there. Barnes closed her eyes tightly as she leaned forward on the table. While she could not explain why, she felt both a sense of fear and relief simultaneously.

Numerous thoughts raced through her mind as she replayed the events of tonight. The idea of being in a relationship again made her heart run with both excitement and fear. Of course, realizing they had not even gone out on a date reminded her that they weren't in a relationship, at least not yet. She didn't want to think that far ahead, not this time.

As much as she hated to admit it, she had written the name Laura Davis a few times to see how it looked. She and Davis never made it to the intimate part of their relationship, but that didn't mean she wasn't ready for him. What bothered her still was that she couldn't decide whether it was a tragedy they were never intimate or if it was a blessing. Laura began to think something was wrong with her for missing a guy who nearly killed her, but she still did at times for some reason. Maybe it was more the thought of what could have been that bothered her most, even if she knew the whole relationship was built on a lie.

Finally, she managed to tear herself away from the table. Barnes noted that few people were in the lobby as she made her way out of the station. She made it to her car without anyone stopping her. She drove to her apartment, trying not to think about Miller.

Miller was not Davis, she told herself over and over. She hated how she treated him, looking back at it as she drove down the mostly empty streets. You're frightened, Laura thought as she pulled into her parking spot near the apartment. You want to be with someone, but you're afraid it will end like it always does, she continued to think as she walked to her apartment.

The cat was there waiting for her, rubbing against her as she approached the door. She bent down and scratched its head before opening the door and grabbing hold of the bag she kept by the door. After she filled the bowl, Laura sat her things down inside and shut the door.

Looking down at her phone, she resisted the urge to call Skylar. Laura believed she knew what Sky would tell her. "Go for it, Laura, you know you should," she imagined Sky saying in her most excited voice. Deep down, she knew Sky meant well, but she was hardly someone to give relationship advice. Laura was never flirty, and she thought that maybe that was off-putting to many men. Of course, those were not the type of men she was interested in, so perhaps it didn't matter. Yes, she was choosey and wouldn't just date anyone and everyone, but sometimes she wished she could have Sky's charm and outgoing nature. Then again, why would she need Sky if she had all that charm?

Laura made a sandwich and devoured it, washing it down with a bottle of water. She changed into her bedclothes and then brushed her teeth. A few minutes later, she was lying in bed, trying to slow down the thoughts going through her mind. As she drifted off to sleep, a slight smile crossed her face.