NO REGRETS

The 22nd - (Grandma's Memory Box)

I was in a little room when they told me 

But I thought that I was finally going to leave 

But what they said was way worse 

I saw myself cry for the first time in a while 

And I never heard "I love you" from you again 

I remember seeing the ambulance 

And I was not ready for what happened next 

It was better to hear it than to read a text 

But I still didn't want to hear what happened 

And we never heard "I love you" from you again 

I can't believe that the only person who understood 

I can't believe that the only person who could 

I can't believe that the only person that would 

Would be the one seeing the angels one night later 

I can't believe that the only person who cared 

I can't believe that the only person who shared 

I can't believe that the only person who I paired 

Would be the one seeing the angels one night later 

So as I sit there in the middle of the night 

I know that this will be one long fight 

And I will try not to starve myself to death 

Because of the tragedy of the 22nd 

I'm thinking of the ones who will break 

When she is the next one swimming in Heaven's lake 

And I will try not to cut myself until I die 

Because of the tragedy of the 22nd 

I tried to call everyone as soon as possible 

But I couldn't call anyone because I'm too hurt 

And I blamed myself for so many months and years 

And all that blame shifted into "I'm so guilty" tears 

And I never heard "I love you" from you again 

I couldn't face myself now that I don't have anyone 

Because I had hope for so many weeks 

But I lost track of time and I felt so weak 

And I didn't think that I would even last an hour 

Because I'll never hear "I love you" from you again 

I can't believe that the person who had hoped 

I won't believe that the only person who cared 

Is the one who had left me in a pit of despair 

Because my heart is the only one that will care 

But she saw the angels only one night later 

I can't believe that the only who loved 

Would be flying high above like a dove 

All because I had to be the one to shove 

And now all I can do is sit here in disbelief 

Then she saw the angels only one night later 

And I sit here in the middle of the night 

I know that this will be one long fight 

And I will try not to starve myself to death 

Because of the tragedy of the 22nd 

And I never would've believed that it would be on me 

Because I'm the one who never listened to a thing 

And then I ruined the lives of everyone that I love 

I am the reason that there was a tragedy on the 22nd 

I can't breathe anymore 

I can't live anymore 

Knowing that I won't be with you 

I can't see anymore 

I can't love myself anymore 

Knowing what I had done to you 

And I'm so sorry 

And I sit here in the middle of the night 

I know that this will be one long fight 

And I will try not to starve myself to death 

Because of the tragedy of the 22nd 

And I guess that I can accept the hurt 

Because now I'll always be sure 

That I am not to blame for what happened 

But this hurt might always last 

And I know you might not remember me 

But I always have tried calling 

And I will always remember what they said 

And I am so scared 

Of the tragedy of the 22nd