NO REGRETS

Self Destruction - (My Confessions)

I've left them messages 

Time and time again 

I was once someone that they believed in  

But one choice cause them to abandon  

My mind runs like a stallion 

And I can't seem to find the balance 

I've been the one to build a callous  

But that beat the fuck out of me with mallets  

Nothing is worth the hype 

Because all of your friends will be high 

Leaving you without a goodbye sign 

Because they never actually wanted to be in your life 

I'm so used to be called embarrassing 

Because I'm the one who's over sharing 

Even though the racist homophobic people are staring 

And I've learned that I'm the only one caring 

She told me not to give up 

But I remember I begged for God 

To tell me why I'm such a fraud  

It's called self destruction 

The universe left me out to die 

And I was told that it was my time  

I remember when a grown man lied 

I ran to the alcohol to cope with my life 

I rely on music because no one is there for me 

I'm the one person that nobody can ever really see 

So they always tell me that I'm on my own and leave 

And I took the weed of my pocket and smoked it under my sleeve 

You don't want to be changed Like it changed me 

Because the places you'll go to just breathe 

Will make you wish that you never even would believe 

That there are places that are called good 

I was told to never give up 

But I know that I'm living in my head 

And soon it will all come to a descending end 

It's called self destruction 

I was told to get out of my head 

But I would rather be sleeping in my bed 

And there are places where light shed 

That made all of the people in my life to leave the rest 

I was told to just run out of the void 

But try to sit there and listen to the voices 

Full of grown men, judges, and teenage boys 

Who would rather ruin my life instead of helping me escape 

I told myself that I'll never give up 

But the weight of the world isn't worth it 

I'm sick of pretending and I'm sick of the liars 

It's called self criticism  

For years and years I've had something to prove to you 

But now I have nothing left to do 

For years and years I was always told to just pretend 

So I pretended until I broke the line 

For years and years I wasted all of my time 

Wasted on fake people and making fake smiles 

For years and years I was told I'm worth nothing 

But now I look back and realize I have no shame left 

I was always told to just keep my head up 

But I know they were talking to themselves  

A bastard is who I am and who I'll always be 

It's called self destruction