WRITTEN IN THE STARS

Part 5

We are standing outside, waiting for obi-wan. I completly ruined this mission and I am so pissed at myself. I just know my master won't let me come along for the next and I think Obi-wan is gonna agree. I hope the other padawans won't find out what happend.

I let out a sigh and look up to the sky. The sky is colored soft orange with a mix of purple and light pink. It's getting dark pretty soon. I look over to see Anakin sitting, thinking about god knows what. I look back up and see that the color is replaced by a comforting dark blue and stars slowly appear. It reminds me of the nights at Tattooine when my mother was still alive, she knew everything about the stars. We used to watch them every night, together. I miss my mother she deserved a good, happily ever after. Sometimes my dreams are good dreams but they are always about her, so no matter what I wake up sad. 

Obi-wan and Ella are the closest thing I have to a family. But it doesn't really feel like home, my home died in my arms and gave me trauma. Ever since I feel so lonely, I feel so alone no matter how many people are around. I close my eyes and picture her smile. I don't feel the need to cry all I feel is pain, deep inside of me. I feel guilt, I feel grief, I feel anger. But i won't let my emotions control my actions , it's not the jedi way. All I ever want to do is making my mother proud.

And myself.

"How's your arm?" I look up and see Anakin looking at his hands. I touch my arm "it hurts but i'll live" I mumble. "When we are back you need to get yourself checked at the medical wing". "Yeah okay", "I will walk you there if you want". I roll my eyes and chuckle "yeah so you can flirt with the nurses". He looks at me and slightly laughs "I never ever do". "Oh please you always do and then the're all over you and you love it because it feeds your big ego" I say exposing him. "And then they come over later and then.." I continue. He laughs and looks at me "then what?". "Well then you know" I akwardly say I don't really want to say it out loud. "So what you're telling me you never did something like that?". "I never broke the jedi code once and I'm not planning on going to in the future" I explain. "Really?, no secret boyfriend, secret admirer?" he teases.

"Stop you know I don't, can't say the same for you though". He smirks "Those are just one time things, no feelings and I might be a jedi but I'm still human". I huff and look away, his head tilts a little to the side "Oh c'mon you telling me you don't have desires". I feel my cheeks heaten up and i look further to the ground, grateful it is dark. Truth is I do want pleasure and I catch myself sometimes wanting something. 

But I'll never tell him that.

"I don't and so what? I have zero experience  so I doubt anyone would want me anyways, besides I'm busy doing other stuff" I say. "And also I would appreciate it if we didn't talk about this thank you very much". Suddenly I sense something coming and I spring up, ready to defend only to see it's Obi-wan and R2. "Took you long enough" I hear my master say, Obi-wan rolls his eyes "oh I'm sorry I did not see you fighting an half an army on your own now did you?". He looks at me "Are you alright Y/n you look half dead". "Wow thank you Obi-wan" I say, he chuckles "I'm sorry I meant you look like you need to be patched up and a have goodnight sleep".

I smile "I'm okay thanks Obi-wan and I'm sorry about the mission I should have listened to my master and R2 so that-". "It's okay Y/n Anakin explained everything I am just glad he found you alive" he interupts me. I feel Anakin's gaze on me and I make eye contact with him "right me too". "Let's get out of here shall we? C'mon R2" Obi-wan says and he gestures us to follow him back to the ship.

"So... does this mean I can come along for the next mission" I ask while we're walking. Anakin shakes his head "What do you think?". I sigh as I enter the ship and sit in the seat next to Anakin's. "Try not to spill blood on my ship" he says. I scoff "Oh I'm so sorry that I'm half dying here I'll try to tell my body to stop bleeding" I say sarcastically . I scoff "Damn and for one second I thought you could actually be a nice person but I forgot about your rude, selfish personality".

He presses a bunch of buttons and says nothing in return. The ships starts and begins to take off, I cannot wait for to be back in my room. Showering, eating, hopefully sleeping, I have to tell Ella everything what happend. I look at the darkness and close my eyes.

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We arrive back at the temple and I walk away. I am on my way to the medical wing because my arm is starting to feel like it's going to fall off, "hey hold on"my master says. I stop and turn around "what do you want", "I'll walk you there you look like you need help" he states. "Oh now you want to be nice you know what thank you very much but I am fine by myself bye" I say angrily. I wasn't fine at all because I know damn well that I'm fully limping but I don't want to be near him right now. I start to continue my painful walk to the medical wing when I suddenly feel an arm wrap around my waist and my good arm is now resting on a shoulder. 

"I said I don't want your help". "I know but you need it because otherwise in a minute or two you'll collapse on this floor and that wouldn't be what you want now is it" he says. I roll my eyes "fine by me and I-" but suddenly he let's go of me and I feel pain and weight coming back and before I know I see the ground coming closer and closer until I stop at the very end because a strong pull holds me up before I hit the floor.  

"What did you say" Anakin smirks. "Alright fine help me, fucking hell" I say, he pulls me to him until I am against his chest. He looks down at me and wraps his arm around my waist while grabbing mine to pull it over his shoulder again. his hand closes around mine to hold my arm around him and I feel a weird thing in my stomach.

We arrive at the medical wing and a nurse comes to us. "She's hurt, got shot in the arm and lost alot of blood" my master explains. The nurse nods and calls over a doctor, they put me on a sort of chair and begin to inspect my wound. I feel Anakin's gaze on me and I look at him. He looks at me with almost concerning eyes before he stands up and and sits closer to me. The doctors begin to stitch my wound and it hurts. "Ow" I quietly whine, Anakin takes my wrist in his hand "you can squeeze my hand if it hurts to much". I stare at him and nod "okay". "I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier" he says. "Don't apolegize just because you pity me" I say back.

"I'm not It's just I was stressed and tired so I'm sorry" he says. I smile a little "It's okay thank you". He smiles a little bit back, I look over to see a group nurses giggeling and looking at Anakin. I take my hand out of his and he frowns "What's wrong?". I shake my head "nothing I think they want to talk to you" I say while I point at them. "Oh well I'm busy here and-" but I interupt him "It's alright I'm fine you can go". He looks at me a little unsure "Are you sure?". I laugh a little and push him slightly "yes now go to your girlfriends". He stands up and goes over. 

They talk for like 6 minutes and somoene whispers in his ear. He puts his arm arounder shoulder and they are walking towards the exit. I feel my stomach tighten but I push it away.

When they are nearly out of the door he looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with me.

And then he smirks and dissapears behind the closing doors.

What a day.

Chapter 5 done!! Thank you so so much for reading and voting ily <3

I am sort of busy so that is why my updates are a little slower but every week are one or two chapters uploaded hopefully three!! 

Thank you for understanding <3

And by the way thank you sooo much for over a hunderd reads oh my gosh!!!

See ya next chapter Xx