Misunderstandings | Namgi

Chapter 22

Yoongi POV

The evening with Joon surprisingly goes much easier than I'd worried about, even if it took him a good half hour to start loosening up and getting comfortable again. We ended up doing takeout for dinner, Joon actually having surprised me with my favorite, and he even put on some of my favorite movies. We're getting ready for bed at this point though, and I can read him like an open book with just how unsure he feels with this step. We're both in our pajamas by now, having done all we needed to in order to be ready to sleep, but we're both sat atop the covers currently instead.

"You don't... you don't have to do this if you're not ready for this yet, Joon. I can go stay with Tae in the guest room until you're comfortable with this again. I'll understand." I mumble out, glancing up at him before returning my gaze to picking at the duvet we're sat on top of. I catch him frown at my words from my peripheral, and I don't know how to feel about the sight.

"I just... I don't want to rush you, Yoon. I still don't know that it's the right decision for you to be letting me in like this so quickly. I don't want us to rush this just for it to work against us, babe." Joon murmurs softly, care in his eyes when I eventually drag my gaze up to his. I take a shaky breath at this, biting my lip in hopes to try and keep myself together.

"Is it because of me? Or because of him?" I find the words tumbling from my lips without a thought, not being able to help myself. It should be an understandable question though, after all he just left a man he was ready to marry, it's fair if he himself isn't ready to move that fast.

"Yoon..."

"It's okay if it's because of him, Joon. I'll understand. I don't imagine it's easy going from sleeping with one man to another in one day." I breathe out, not having the strength within me to be able to look up at him again.

"I didn't even go there last night, Yoon. After... after we talked, I couldn't go back to him. I stayed in a hotel last night because you were the only thing I could think about. Babe, it has nothing to do with him. I'm worried about you, and I'm worried about how quickly you're letting me back in when I don't deserve it, Yoon. I don't want us to take things so fast that it has a poor effect on your mental health, babe. I don't deserve for you to let me back in and for us to try and act like the last seven months never happened."

Before I realize it, there's a hand cupping my cheek gently, guiding my face so that I'm looking up at Joon who's now sat right in front of me, tears in his eyes and worry flooding his face. My lips involuntarily pout and tremble all at once, knowing that everything he's saying is true as much as I don't want to believe it. I don't know what would hurt worse though, having him here and keeping him at arms length or not having him at all.

Our conversation gets interrupted by a light knock on our door though, and I turn my head towards the sound as I find my cousin gently opening our door. I heave a sigh at the sight, knowing fully well what he's here for.

"Yoon, I'd still like to check you tonight, hyung. We can do that in my room if you'd like though." Tae informs me, and I bite my cheek carefully before nodding, knowing that he only has my own best interest at heart. I can see the confusion on Joon's face when I crawl off the bed, though there's soon solemn understanding as he too nods at all of this.

"Seems like the two of you weren't exactly having the lightest of bedtime conversations." Tae comments once we're out in the hallway, his arm around my shoulders as he leads us back to his room. I just shrug, feeling so very weighed down by what we'd been discussing.

"He's worried about us moving too fast." I mumble sadly once we're in the safety of his room, reluctantly stripping from my clothes.

"I think that's a reasonable concern, hyung. You don't feel like you're moving too fast?" Tae counters in a light tone, clearly trying to help me keep my head above water as he carefully runs his hands along my skin to make sure there's nothing new that he's simply missing in view. I swallow over the lump in my throat at the question though, hating that any and all of this is happening.

"I dunno, Tae. Time may have moved forward since that night, but I haven't. I still daydream of what could've been if that night had gone the way I'd hoped it would. I still feel like I'm sitting at that table, waiting for him to show up, waiting for time to start again even if it never really stopped. I may have graduated and gotten a job since then, but you saw how much those events fazed me, how minimal of a reaction I'd had. Just having him here in the house again feels so fucking surreal." I whisper, feeling the tears spill over once more. I'm pulled into a hug almost immediately, Tae's hold tight on me, and I know he's feeling the ache that I do.