Misunderstandings | Namgi

Chapter 15

Namjoon POV

At my words, I watch his entire expression fall. He just looks solemn as he lets his gaze fall to the ground once more.

"I dont know what there is for the two of us to talk about in regards to that specific topic, Namjoon. You ended things with me, I don't know what confusions you would have in that regard." Yoongi mumbles so quietly that I nearly miss it all. I glare at him though, shaking my head.

"I ended things because of you, Yoongi. You're the one that ruined us ultimately, not me. I'm just the one who cut off the constant pain and torture you were putting me through." I counter coldly, angered by the fact that he would possibly think he's innocent. In turn though, I get a surprised wide eyed gaze snapping up to look at me, that soft pout of his returning to his lips. I miss the times I got to see him use his pout on me just to beg for something in a cute manner, miss the times he used to call me Joon rather than by my full name.

Those times are never coming back though, and it's something I have to remember.

"What... What did I do though? Namjoon, how did I ever hurt you? I never... You never said anything, never said you were hurting. I-I didn't know I'd ever done anything." Yoongi questions, looking so innocently lost in all of this that it almost makes me want to forgive him. Almost.

"Yoongi, you were sneaking around with someone else behind my back! You were lying and cheating on me! How did you think I wouldn't notice eventually?! I was an idiot for ever thinking of being with you in the first place when it should've been clear you were seeing someone back when we first met!" I exclaim in frustration, hating how he's acting like he never did anything. I'm caught off guard though, by the tears that begin slipping down his cheeks.

"What are you talking about? I was never seeing anyone other than you, Joon. I-I never cheated on you or anything. No one had my attention at all except for you." Yoongi says softly, agitating me further.

"Then where the hell would you go three fucking days a week for two whole hours, Yoongi?! Whatever the hell it was always affected your mood afterwards! There were days you were distant with me like I didn't matter anymore and others where you couldn't seem to stand being more than ten meters away from me! You never even told me where the hell you were going! And then I find you all over some random guy the day of our second anniversary?! What the fuck do you call that, Yoongi?" I challenge angrily, tired of beating around the bush already.

He's wearing a neutral expression by the time I've finished exploding, gaze not wavering from my face as more tears start slipping down his cheeks. I hate seeing him cry and look so blank like this, but I can't find it in me to care at the moment.

"Namjoon, did you ever think once to just maybe ask me? Ask who I'd been with that day? Ask where I'd be going each time I had to go out?" Yoongi asks, his voice scarily void of emotions. I frown at his question though, knowing he's got me on that point. I never did bother to stop and ask him where he was going, I always just assumed he'd tell me when he was ready.

"The guy you saw me with was my cousin that day. Tae knew what I'd been going through and how hard it'd been on me, and I wanted to tell you that night at dinner. I was going to tell you and I'd told Tae that I would. He stopped by that day to help give me a bit of extra support because I was worried how you'd take it." Yoongi explains quietly, gaze falling once more. I can hear the sadness in his tone this time, and it nearly makes me want to cry at how defeated he sounds.

"And what the hell were you going to tell me that warranted your cousin, that I knew nothing about, to stop by your studio at the school, Yoongi? Where the hell were you all those times if you weren't cheating on me?" I challenge quietly, wanting the truth of it all.

"I was going to therapy, Joon. That random mail I used to get from the hospital that probably never made any sense to you? That was them sending me congratulatory messages about staying sober and staying clean. It wasn't something I was proud of, but I would've told you if you would've just asked. I was going to show you the letter I'd gotten from the hospital that night at dinner, Joon. I was going to show you, but I was terrified. I had no idea how you were going to react and so Tae stopped by to help encourage and support me. Yeah, there were times I'd come home and I'd be a bit out of it or I'd be a little too clingy, but it was always because I was scared of losing you. I was scared of how you would react to finding out."