"i don't want to see her? she stopped speaking to us"
"and whose fault was that stupid?"
----------------------------
"i've missed you lizzy"
"i've missed me to.
jokes , i've missed you too"
in which eliza gets invited on the cut the camera podcast...
chris walked out, i wanted to chase after him but it felt like my body was paralysed. like i couldn't move, i wanted to, but i couldn't.
why was i so horrible to him? was it because i was i'll? or was it because one year ago, on this day my dad died while i was in the UK. i didn't even know he was sick, nobody called me. i remember the day so clearly. i wasn't bitch earlier, so why was i now?
1 year ago
i had just gotten back from school and my mom was sat at the kitchen counter with a coffee cup in her hands and her head was touching the cup.
"what's wrong?" i ask slinging my backpack on the sofa and come to console my mom.
she looks up at me, and she looked terrible. her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and she looked actually white, not pale, white.
"your dad, he.." she started crying again and i instantly knew, my hands flew over my mouth and she nodded, we hugged for what felt like hours and we cried.
i also remembered how much i hated myself for months, like why did i move? why did i barely contact him? why did i take all the moments we had for granted?
before i knew, i was sat in the bed, hugging a pillow crying again. i miss my dad so fucking much, i barely ever saw him and we wasn't close. but those times he wasn't hammered or out, he was the best dad i could've ever asked for.
I opened instagram and posted a picture i had taken of the sunset on the beach a couple of nights before.
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elizasmithh: making the skies prettier than ever, dad. i love you and miss you so much. i would do anything to have even just one more minute with you.
i'm so so so sorry i took you for granted, it kills me to know i'll never see you again. maybe in another lifetime.
till we meet again🤍
COMMENTS ARE DISABLED ON THIS POST
the post made me feel a little bit better, but it still stung me to know he isn't here anymore.
the group knew my dad was gone, but they didn't know what day it was today.
CHRIS'S POV
i was walking around the town that was by our hotel and i has gotten a notification that eliza had posted on instagram, that had annoyed me even more.
i didn't open it and then straight after she had messaged me and because of my face id it opened the message.
——————
lizzy🩷 i'm so fucking sorry chris. i'm so so so sorry for being a bitch i let my emotions get the better of me and i just took them out on you chris? i understand if you don't want to speak to me, i just wanted to let you know how hard this day is for me and i just wanted to let you know how sorry i am.
