The distance between us

56. Burnt Orange

GREY
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5 hours. It had been 5 hours of the most gut wrenching anxiety and fear. All I wanted was to hold her in my arms and never let her go...

In this life I never expected to be caught red handed in the act of falling so deeply in love I could no longer bare to live without the soul that owned me entirely, but here I was, dying a slow painful death from the feeling of not having her here with me.

I never understood Da Vinci's famous quote that all those surrounded by it fell into the deep end of a romantics lifestyle, though here I was, fallen further than ever imaginable, because he was right... 'A life without love is no life at all'...
And I couldn't understand it because like he said... 'nothing can be loved or hated unless it is first understood'

"Grey" Cameron called out from the hall...

"Please, just leave me alone" I wanted to wallow in my own darkness of regret till I'd no longer feel the ache or how much I ruined the only thing that ever turned my embodiment into a peaceful state, but i had a deep gut wrenching feeling that for every life I am to ever live, I will never not feel the ache of what I had done.

"We found her"....

.....GREY

The stairs felt as if they were closing in on me, as if every step I took another one would appear before me, making it impossible to reach her.

I could think of nothing but holding her in my arms, protecting her from the evil that invaded her world.

Police and ambulance scattered the building as they waited to treat her injuries.

Her father had sped across the town causing mayhem on the New York streets...I had climbed the steps as if my life depended on it...and it had.

Finally, the burnt orange door came into view, the golden number 66 painted on the frame...

The door broke down as police scurried through, not wasting any time.

My heart pounded with uncertainty as I searched the apartment, just waiting to capture a glimpse of those caramel locks...
And as if god had felt my suffering was no longer needed, I did.

My eyes caught the sparkle of those eyes I had fell in love with since day one, the wave of her Carmel hair as it flowed past her hips, the softness of her skin as it glistened.

As if time had truly stopped, everything around me melted, but i was frozen, I couldn't move, as if my feet had been punctured to the floor...I watched as police scooped her up in their arms, as others tackled Logan to the ground, as she shut her eyes the moment they landed on my own.

I watched as they carried her out the door, her body bruised and broken, but her soul somehow worse.

For what I thought would be the last time that night...my heart broke again as I watched the way she looked at me...the way her eyes held nothing, her face staring with hatred, this is what I had done...
I tried taking a step toward her...

"Don't let him near me" her voice was violently broken...
The officer nodded as he took her out the room.

What have I done...Seconds turned into minutes and for just a second I forgot, forgot how to breathe, how to talk, how to move...

I snapped back to reality as I flew myself down the steps, my heart racing as I chased after them, I pushed through the glass doors expecting to see her, but instead I watched as the doors to the ambulance shut, speeding off into the night as I stood beneath the street lights, my eyes too dry to let the salt water fall...
Because when the heart is too heavy with pain, we can't cry, instead we become silent, completely and utterly, silent.

MAY BELLE
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I let the bed beneath me swallow me whole as they attached tubes to my body, a neck brace around me while doctors hovered over me like I was a science experiment.

When I had explained the numbness below my knee they grew concerned, they needed to run tests before they diagnosed anything, but I think we all knew what was going to happen...

I closed my eyes as I felt the comfort of dad and roses hands stroking my arm, the warmth of Amber and Marie's hands on my leg as they stroked my cold feet.

"May belle" the nurse took a deep breath.

"Your right leg, below the knee has extensive nerve damage, there's nothing we can really do to repair it...what we can do is offer an amputation, it will take 6-10 weeks to heal which then you can learn to use a prosthesis" her eyes held deep sympathy as she rubbed my shoulder, though her words were straight forward and point blank, she's use to this.

I knew this was coming, from the moment I couldn't feel anything I knew what had to happen, and apart of me had already excepted it, but apart of me would be missing forever, and my heart had been stolen that day.

"How long will I have to stay here after the surgery?"

"5-7 days"

"Okay" I didn't have much of a choice anyway...

I listened to my dad sob in the corner as he held his head in sorrow, as my friends reminded me how much they loved me, how they'd always be there no matter what; how they'd stay with me during the entire healing process and forever more.

"I'm so sorry baby" my dad held my hand as he cried into my shoulder. He was supposed to be leaving for London in 2 months.

"Don't be sorry daddy, this isn't your fault, don't blame yourself"

"I love you endlessly, all of you. I'm going to be okay" I giggled reminding them it was just a short hill I had to get over.

"I'm coming back, just without one leg" I smiled trying my best to lighten them up.

They all giggled through their tears as they shook their heads.

"Are you okay?" Marie asked.

"I'm okay, I'm hurt but I'm alive, I have you all, I'll heal I'll be okay" I reminded them and myself at the same time.

And though I'd be losing a leg that day...
losing my heart to him was so much more
painful than any form of torture this
world had to offer...
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