The distance between us

1. Faded green

For the girls who have been through it all...

MAYBELLE
____________

The piercing sound of my alarm blared through my ear drums causing my body to jolt in confusion.

Monday morning, my favourite. I gave myself time, trying my best to crawl out of bed like a crab without 2 feet.

After last night I was just too tired to shower so I didn't bother washing away the numbness that lurked within my veins

I took a long hot shower letting the boiling water wash over me like a wave on the shore trying my best to wash away the pain I felt both inside and out.

I couldn't help but look at myself seeing my broken body, it wasn't noticeably broken but I could feel it, little yellow bruises pricked at my skin while a small crimson cut accompanied my lip. I'd fallen down the stairs last night after dads shadow figure scared me from behind.
He hadn't noticed due to the fact he'd been drinking all night.

I know it seems like every girl has daddy issues these days and honestly they do but that's not my fault, and it's not every girls fault either.

I threw on an old dress and grey jumper before applying a small amount of makeup to lighten up my lifeless looking soul.
I did this often to cover the little imperfections that worked their way up on certain nights of the week.

I was use to doing this most days...
As I went downstairs, fret quickly overtook my demeanour as I watched Ken make his breakfast in an orderly fashion, straight forward and precise as per usual.

Kens my dad...adoptive dad I might add.

I watched the father I longed to feel love from prepare his meal for the day before wiping away my sorrowful thoughts and locking the front door behind me.

He drinks a lot so when he does, he blacks out, he's better when he's sober, and I'll always love the part of him that's sober, that's the part of him that adopted me and taught me great things in life but just so happened that he took up drinking a few years ago.

I put my ear buds in playing words by Birdy as I strolled through the cold streets of town.
Birdy was my favourite singer, I felt whole when I listened to her music. She provided the best kind of relation.

The walk is usually around 25 minutes, not to far, but far enough for my legs to ache at the end of a Friday afternoon.

I'm 18, so old enough to drive yes, but obviously under the circumstances a car is not in my budget, I
don't particularly mind though, walking is kinda like my therapy in a way, helps reduce stress, it's scientifically proven, look it up.

The faded green gates parted, allowing me to enter the school grounds after the short but hollowing walk.

School wasn't my get away like most kids, but neither was home.

Never less I did what I could to blend in.
I didn't have friends at school, which I was fine with, I liked being lonely it was comforting, sad but comforting in a weird way, only those who are lonely will know the feeling and that's enough for me.

I kept my head low hiding behind my long sandy coloured hair. My hair was my haven, it always has been. it held all my strength, weaknesses, and memories... for a ladies hair is her crowning glory.

I always took good care of my hair, it reached just below my bum, slightly curly with a haze of golden locks running wild, which I loved. My hair is my favourite thing about myself, always has been always will be.