The Law of Attraction | Vol III

Never Ever.

I can remember the way his eyes were white, his mouth open, ready to cuss us both the fuck out, but he held it in, just like he held in his tears. Even Sandi was looking like she couldn't stand me, shaking her head at me. Her son put it on everything, he would never be okay with Damson being around our kids. He was holding no punches, firing at me with all he had, promising war against anyone Damson had ever known and would ever know. Sandi was shocked that things had once again progressed, seemingly super soon, after Aubrey and I had ended. I got that, let it go as I didn't want to burn the bridge between them and our kids. She was taken aback, Adam and I, a nightmare I chose to wander into, so that I didn't have to sleep alone. I chose a man I knew of, a friend, so-called. Yes I chose, under strain, but I still chose him. This time felt different. Aubrey did too. Crushed, and completed devastated at the idea of not ever getting us back together again.

I met Damson as a kid but, as an adult, meeting him felt like a breath of fresh air. I was alone, juggling being a widowed mother to three, a music career, acting, and the commercial modelling deals. He had become a household name, an extremely working actor, who helped me work on my technique, telling me to channel my hurt into the role. He killed every role he touched and was doing something I love. He was funny, kind charming,  but reserved, tall and athletic, towering over me, but I loved that. Never made it weird, having a husband that was once so famous and suddenly gone made everyone I'm almost everything feels so fake at one point. He was real with me, always happy to see me, catching him smiling at me and trying to look away. Then he was my go-to and became the listening ear to my fears and tears at night.
Made me think about the fact that Aubrey would never love me the way I wanted to, if he didn't know by now. Just like I was starting to think Damson would have left by now, if he was going to. 

He told me about being Nigerian, his family with his support system and everything. But they weren't his decision makers, and he wouldn't want them to around if they couldn't be happy for him. I had met his sisters and mother a couple of times, at premiers and film events. His mum telling me that I was perfect for her sons, onscreen character, but I always wondered what she would think if she knew, her beloved and somewhat Green son was Boo'd Up with me. I chose to move on to Damson, publicly in a way that made it seem like things were new between us both. My divorce hearing the first time the public knew, it was true. I asked him what his family thought and he said that they weren't bothered. His mum was shocked but wanted to make sure about the baby. I understand that as a mother myself, and was embarrassed it was a question. His family told him that they just wanted to be sure, about the baby, and that I wasn't using him as a means of moving on and I wasn't. I asked him if things would change, when the baby came back to be Aubrey's, and all he would say is he loved me beyond that.