Spellbound [COMPLETED]

Chapter 29 Be my Guest

Taryn seemed to have vanished and was nowhere to be seen. Ana worried about this until she remembered that she still had to remain hidden.

And besides, she had other things to worry about. One of which was in her bathroom using her shower.

Ana banged on her bathroom door once more.

"BEN!!! HURRY UP! I WANNA GO TO BED!" She shouted irritably.

"Then shower in the morning!" He answered.

"No! I am not changing my nightly routine just because you're in my damn house," she argued.

"Y'know you could've joined me," he said salaciously.

"Oh, fuck off!" She said, her voice strained in annoyance.

"Don't tempt me, baby," he said.

"Ugh!"

Ana stormed off into her room. Ever since he's been staying at her place, Ben's been acting different. He went from romantic, yet unrealistic heroine to freaking Peter and Cam combined.

He was far from his accommodating and concern self and was more difficult than he needed to be. And not in the sense that he was a rude guest.
He kept after himself and even cooked dinner for them every few nights.

What really got to Ana was how mercurial he was being. One minute, they would study and he'd keep on his poker face, and the next, they were making out in the laundry room.

They didn't talk about their relationship since her mention of 'I'm afraid of losing you.'

But it wasn't like they never spoke. If anything, they went from New Romantics to friends with benefits minus the friends part.

Ana wanted to pretend that everything was okay, but whenever she was with him, there was always the thought in the back of her mind that screamed TALK TO HIM!! TALK TO HIM NOW!!!

She was now sitting on her bed, fighting with herself. She knew if she brought it all up again, it could potentially blow up in her face. But if she didn't, it could hurt them in the long run.

Suffocation, she thought. Am I just that? And does he feel that way about me? Or am I doing that to him without either of us realizing it? Or am I just over analyzing all of this? Oh shit, I've turned into one of those girls.

Lost in thought, Ana grabbed a notebook on her bedside and began scribbling down words. This was one of the ways she coped with the world. As much as she loved acting, just talking to a mirror or thin air deemed her as insane. Though she felt that that ship has sailed a long time ago, she still found solace in writing.

She just loved it, period. And it wasn't even that she had to try, her process was simple: read, think, write, repeat or feel, write, read, repeat. She learned grammar and vocabulary from books and inspiration was all around her. At this point, she could just write without thinking and it would end up decent, if not good.

She began writing a monologue between a boy and a girl. They argued about their past, present, and future. She was so lost in the pen and paper, her forehead creasing, her eyes never leaving the paper.

She quickly finished and began writing poems and short stories. Her topics varied from romance to lost to near death experiences. Less than twenty minutes have passed and Ana already filled about forty pages in her notebook.

She had forgotten how freeing it had felt, putting emotions on a piece of paper. It was like screaming silently-being freed in secret.

It took a good five minutes of clearing his throat for Ana to notice Ben at her doorway, wearing nothing but a towel.
Regardless, she looked down and kept writing.

"Since when did you write?" Ben asked, leaning against the door way.

"I always wrote. I had just been a bit distracted lately," Ana raised her eyebrows at the word distracted, but refused to share his gaze. "I forgot how freeing this was. I haven't done it in so long."

"When was the last time you wrote?"

"I think it was the week before I met you."

Ben looked down, his forehead creased with concern for the first time in days.

"Ana, we should talk," he finally said.

"No, I need to write and you need to put some clothes on."

"I'm surprised you noticed," he said with a smile. "You've barely looked at me since I walked in."

Ana finished the last of her sentences and put her notebook and pen down. She gave him a discerning look, her mouth pressed into a hard line.

"Okay, talk. And when you do, start off with telling me why you didn't do so the past few days instead of playing head games with me," She said sternly, shaking her head. "Seriously Ben, you've been acting different and . . . I don't know how to feel about it."

Ben sat beside her on the edge of her bed.

"Look, Ana. I'm sorry. I was just confused as to where we were. We didn't exactly leave off in a good place. I guess I just sort of . . . Shut down. Went back to my old ways."

"So this is you? The real you. Who you were before you met me."

"I don't want to be anywhere near who I was before I met you, Ana."

"Look, I don't want you to change for me. It's just that I'd rather not deal with a mercurial version of Peter in the midst of what's already going on around us."

"Okay, comparing me to Peter, now that's too far."

They both laughed. Ana idly wondered how Peter was doing. She then remembered mystery girl.

"How long have you known Peter?"

"Not long," he said. "I've met him throughout the centuries and read about his Salem days, but I don't know much about him beyond the twentieth century."

"What about Mary?" Ana asked.

"Ah, so that's where this is going," Ben gave an arrogant grin, as if he knew this was coming.

"I just want to know. I mean, just the utterance of Mary's name gets to Peter. It's almost like the effect I have on you."

"Are you worried that you'll end up like Mary? Because I'm not gonna let that happen, darling."

"I'm not worried about myself. I'm worried about you," She said in somber. "What if you can't save me? I mean, the girl with all the powers is typically the heroine, right? At least that's what all the books say. I'm the hero here, nobody's suppose to save me."

"In case you didn't get it by now Ana, you're not our average run-of-the-mill superhero. And I'm going to make sure that your saved, no matter what."

"And if I die? You've seen it happen before and I've seen what it's done to you. And I see it in Peter's eyes every time I'm with him," she grasped his hand. "It kills Peter to see me because I remind him of Mary, the girl who's death was inevitable. What if I'm the same? What if my death's inevitable? And what if you become exactly like that?"

Ben looked down, Ana's words choking him.

"We've talked about this," he said softly.

"And I know what you said. But what about after?"

"And what about me? What if you lose me Ana?"

"Why do you think I talk about dying so much? I'll die before I let anything or anyone touch you and everyone I've ever loved. The only reason I give a damn about dying is because of what will happen to everyone after."

At that point, Ben realized that Ana wouldn't allow herself to be saved. This was what she meant by being destructive. Her words echoed in his head, I. Am. Destruction.

And she was right. She would destroy everyone, not by endangering them, but by leaving them behind with her ultimate downfall.

Ben's dilemma was no longer saving Ana from Alec and the Exaudi, but more so saving Ana from herself.