fuckboy

linger

•••

theo had come into the common room and neither me nor fin had realised.

he was just stood still in the corner of the room watching us.

watching me.

watching me be so close to another boy after we had been this close so many times before.

i didn't feel bad.

it was his fault.

                                           •••

bella looked unreal.

she threw her head back and moaned this boys name quietly.

fin.

she said it again.

fin.

he realised i was stood there, and momentarily stopped kissing her chest, but he didn't even acknowledge me before going back to bella.

i couldn't blame him.

but i also couldn't watch.

to know that his hands were where my hands had once been made was torture.

but i couldn't stop her.

she had seen me and maya before in the library and then again kissing in the common room, and now she was getting her payback.

i knew deep down i deserved this, but i also knew that he didn't deserve her.

no one did.

                                           •••

theo turned and left, the painting slamming behind him.

fin began to throb more inside me, and eventually he came.

don't get me wrong, he was good, but after everything was over, all i could think about was theo.

"that was incredible bella." he said, panting, "i knew it would be worth it."

"knew what would be worth it?" i laughed back.

"waiting." he said.

"waiting for what," i replied, confused.

"waiting for a girl like you."

"fin," i asked quietly and he looked up at me, "was that your first time ever?"

"yeah," he said happily, not ashamed like i thought he might be.

most boys just got over with for their first time, they just do it with who ever is willing.

"i've been saving it for a girl like you bella."

he smiled again before walking back to his dorm, still drunk, and still completely naked.

if that was his first ever time, i couldn't wait for the rest of them.

but had theo really just been stood there watching?

i knew it was wrong after another boy had literally just been inside me, but i had to find him.

•••

i stood outside the ravenclaw common room for at least five minutes after i had left, just to see if maybe she would have come after me.

just for her to show any sign of her still liking me even a little bit.

but she didn't.

i didn't want to go to my dorm, it was so boring in there and i had nothing to distract me from the fact i had just seen some random ravenclaw touching bella.