Toxic and Mine

Death of a Girlfriend

10/21

One thing I can do is beat a Niggas ass. I talk way too much shit not to know how to fight. After literally putting all my energy into getting away from them, I go back upstairs completely drained. I find myself in my old room, just sitting on the couch.

The burning rage I felt just transforms into melancholy. Silva doesn't care for me, and he proved that to me. I thought we were getting somewhere, but there's no way I could stand being in the same room as him.

Never in my life have I felt so hurt. I look down at Buddy, who is whimpering. He could always tell when something is wrong. I'm bleeding from multiple fingernails, getting away from those men came with the cost of losing a few acrylics, and both my hands are on fire. This is like the casino all over again. Silva knows that I'm not going to cooperate with him, and so I already know there's going to be hell in my way.

I just sit on the couch in a blank stare, watching the time pass. It's so quiet and cold that I find myself dozing off until suddenly there's a knock on the door. It was soft and almost inaudible, but I was so on edge that I could hear a pin drop.

"Nastasia." I immediately recognize his voice, and it makes my stomach twist in disgust. I don't say anything to him, which leads him to knock again before rattling the doorknob in a desperate attempt to get in.

"Love, I'm really trying to go about this the right way. You've said some pretty hurtful things to me over the phone, but I just want to talk. Do not make me violent."He talks in a calm manner, but the way he spoke was rapid, as if he were trying not to scream.

"I have a fucking gun pointed right at you. As soon as you walk in, I'm going to blow your head off." I threaten. I was lying; the only thing in my hand was Buddy, and the only damage he could do would be tearing someone's ankles.

"So you're going to be that way?" He ask.

"Yes, I'm going to be that way." I spit back.

After that, it's silent for a while until my dog suddenly starts crying out of horror. He whimpers, jumping out of my lap and into the bathroom, and I jump, confused, until I hear a window shatter. A metal container is rolled in my direction, leaking some kind of gas. It was far too late to react because I collapsed suddenly and became weak. I could only see a blurry figure coming towards me before the lights are out.

When I wake up, I'm back in Silvia's room. To my horror, I saw all my belongings back in there original spot. I feel sick; he really knocked me out with gas as if I were some type of terrorist. If I wasn't so upset, I would laugh.

My mind then goes to my dog. If he's hurt, I'm really going to kill his sister as collateral. But as I try to open the door, I find it locked from the inside. I tugged on it multiple times before letting go.

"I'll let you out after you calm down." He speaks from outside the door.

"Let me out of this fucking room; I don't want to be around you anymore."

"You have no right to be upset; you lied to me. You lied straight in my face, my own damn woman. You know how much I hate liars."

"No matter what I tell you, you like seeing me fucked up! Any normal person would not be trying to push the person they love into not getting help! And for two weeks, you left me alone on the brink of death!"

"I had to punish you somehow."

I start kicking the door before falling down. "I don't want to be here any more!"

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but we both know you aren't going anywhere."

"So you're going to keep me in here?" I ask in disbelief.

Yes, until you stop behaving like a child," he respond firmly.

I ignore him, getting up. Although I am angry, I'm still thinking clearly. The first thing I do is swipe everything from his dresser before tearing the portrait of his mother down and watching the frame shatter. With a little struggle, I manage to completely rip all his drawers out, throwing them in every direction.

Everything that was able to be broken, I got my hands on. I ripped the mounted TV down, and I shattered every mirror in the room. Book shelves are gone. I was throwing shit out the window, only hoping it would hit the security guards outside. While I was doing this, I was completely calm; I wasn't in a blind rage. My mission was to simply seek and destroy while making sure not to harm myself. Silva had so much shit in here, and I made sure to destroy everything that screamed his name. I tore up his closet, his desk, all his electronics, and his clothes, and by the time I was down, I was exhausted. All the furniture was completely covered in debris, so I found a spot on the floor to sit down.

I sat there in my thoughts until finally he decided to open the door. The look on his face was priceless; he looked around incredulously at all the damage. It looked like a tornado spun through it, and as a finishing touch, the chandelier finally falls from the ceiling, landing right in front of me. And that's when he finally looks at me.

"I lost my temper; I guess it happens when you have an untreated bipolar disorder!" I spit at him, and he's quick to stand in front of me. My attempts to get away from him are foiled as soon as he picks me up with no resistance. I sometimes forget that I'm not as strong as I think.

"There's nothing wrong with you! I'm trying to help you, and you're being a bitch! You shouldn't have lied, and now you have to deal with the consequences." He grabs my shoulders, shaking me, but nothing he's saying registers. 

"Let me go. You don't love me; you just have some obsessive disorder. You're fucked up in the head, and no one will ever love you. Especially not me." With that, he lets me go and looks down. He was crying! And I mean, tears were flowing down his face as if someone he loved had died.

"Is this really how you want to end our story?"

"Fuck you." I spit out and  I  push past him in disbelief, walking out of the room. My hair was a mess, and I needed to get my nails repaired. I was now able to feel all the pain shooting throughout my body, and I was in need of a hot bath.

"Nastasia." He calls for me as I walk towards the elevators. I just didn't want to be on the same floor as him.

"What?!" I snap back looking at him. I wasn't swayed by his emotions

"If you try to leave me I will-"

"I don't care! Me and you, it's hopeless. You're too fucked up to treat me like a normal significant other! I can't I can't I can't deal with you. Maybe one day you'll find someone to appreciate you for who you are but it's not me!"

I walk off ignoring the call of my name multiple times.

"I will always love you."

And with that, I jerk forward, suddenly feeling this excruciating pain in my abdomen. It was so quick that I could barely hear the loud bang that came before it. I slowly turned, looking at him, to see he had a gun pointed right at me.

I tried to speak but couldn't as I held my seeping womb. No thought could form in my head as I slowly began to lose consciousness. Silvas grabs me around my waist, giving me a kiss on my temple. I couldn't hear what he whispered to me as a second and then a third shot of pain shot through me.

God, that pain was so unbearable, and somehow I was still fighting to live. The bitter taste of blood floods my throat as he gently lies me down to die.

I can't believe it; he'd actually killed me.