Toxic and Mine

So Be It

"Nastasia, I'm so glad you're on your feet again," Manon said, walking towards me. While it was true that I could walk, I was not yet at my full potential. The most I could do at the moment was power walk; any attempt at running would likely land me straight on my ass.

"Thank you," I told her before adding, "I want to show more appreciation, but today, I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Balancing being on my best behavior while plotting the worst scheme imaginable had taken a toll on me. Allowing him to kiss and touch me only fueled my anger further. I couldn't decide if he was genuinely oblivious or just plain delusional to believe I would let him get away with everything he did.

"Girl what are you going to do, we leave in less than a month." She tells me and I have been thinking about that but I've accepted the fact that my life remains here.

"Manon, it's quite clear I'm not leaving here, but that's okay. No matter what happens, I want you to know that I'm glad I've met you." I open up to her. The thing is, I haven't a clue how I'm going to go about this.

"It sounds like you're saying goodbye for good."

"I don't know, maybe I am, but let's not think about that. I wanna get drunk," I told her, grabbing onto her arm. It had been a long time since I had a drink or engaged in much of anything. I refrained from smoking because I was told it would hinder my progress. The abstinence added to my aggravation, and I was eager to let loose.

Manon followed me to the bar, and I poured us some Casamigo shots before sliding some her way. I wasted no time throwing them back, pouring more immediately. A brief pause hit me as I felt the urge to throw up, but I swallowed another shot without hesitation.

"Girl, are you good?" she asked, looking at me with concern. She was still on her second shot.

I fixed the screwed-up look on my face from the taste before answering.

"Yea, why you asking me that?"

"Because you're going to get fucked up."

"You're going to get fucked up." I mock before laughing at her. Nobody is getting drunk, I just needed a few drinks to get me off edge. I take the initiative to hand her more shots to catch up to me.

"You don't understand Manon, all these hoes got me fucked up. Lydia has been throwing shade my way since I've woken up. I just know it got her mad that I'm back on my feet." I spill out. Out of everyone, she pisses me off the most. I knew from the jump what kind of person she was and I hate that I was right.

"But you got to understand that I don't want anything to happen to you. I feel like I should stay here with you forever and ever. Because I dont want you to be alone."

"But I'm not going to be alone..." I say placing my hand on her shoulder. " I have Jesus by my side." I tell her before we both bust out laughing.

"In all honesty maybe you should start praying with all the demonic shit happening around here." She continues.

"They all are a bunch of devils... Fuck Silva, fuck Lydia, fuck Trulijo, fuck Carlos."

"Carlos? What did the cook do to you?" She ask I pause before we start laughing.

"I don't know but fuck him too! The only one I'm not saying fuck to is you!"

"Aww come here." Manon invites me into a hug, and as she embraces me, her weight causes both of us to tumble down.

"Bitch you know, I'm still crippled!" I yell out being a laughing mess.

"I'm sorry!" she says, still laughing, as we eventually realize it's time to get up from where she's lying on top of me.