Toxic and Mine

Silva 'Sonny' Hassan Romano Jr.

19 years ago, I told Silva that I loved him. It was such an unfamiliar feeling, and sometimes I wasn't sure if it was true. But as the years have gone by, I've been obsessed with him. You would think that after almost two decades together, the spark would die, but I still can't go long without him. It's the same for him; after I started having babies, I just wanted to be with them and him. This change made Gisselle upset at first when I stopped running around the city with her, but when she found out she was pregnant , she experienced the same feeling.

I was 24 once I found out I was pregnant. We had been marred for 4 years and at first we didn't know if I could have any children due to the immense amount of trauma my stomach faced but from how Silva was fucking me non stop, cumming in me 5 times a day sometimes, leaving me completely worn out and it only meant one thing.  He was trying to get me knocked up but I stayed quiet. Only because I wanted to kids too but I didn't want him to get the satisfaction of me agreeing with him.

I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant. We had been married for four years, and initially, we weren't sure if I could conceive due to the trauma my stomach had endured. However, as soon as my body started feeling different, I took a pregnancy test. At first, I wanted to wait to tell him, but I was so excited that I blurted it out to him. He cried like a baby because from the moment we got married, all he talked about was wanting to have babies to spoil.

Everyone was ecstatic when I broke the news, and Trulijo treated me like a trophy. You would think I was his wife by the way he proudly carried me on his arm. He was thrilled about becoming a grandparent, as were my parents. The idea of being pregnant and actually looking forward to it was something I would have scoffed at in the past. If this had happened when I was 19, I would have considered aborting his baby, but now, seeing him so happy brought me joy. On his stressful days, his eyes would light up at the sight of my growing belly, eager to shower me and his healthy baby boy with love.

Trulijo was over the moon at the news, as you can see. He values men more than women, a fact evident from his troubled relationships: his wife fled the country, and his daughter didn't speak to him for five years. It's been refreshing to witness the positive change in her since becoming a high-profile lawyer. Trulijo only truly understood his daughter's worth after she made him work hard to earn her affection again. This experience taught me that I must do right by my children, I don't want them to experience the same estrangement I did with my parents. I also hope they won't feel the indifference that Silva feels toward his mother, where he doesn't hate her, he simply doesn't care.

At first, I was scared to be a mother, but it was as if my parental instincts kicked in before I even knew my baby's gender. I was determined to do anything in my power to make them feel loved, respected, and safe.

I told Silva that there wasn't anyone I could love more than him, but that all changed once I held my son in my arms for the first time. He looked nothing like me, except for my eye color, but he was the spitting image of his father. In that moment, my life changed, the person I once was seemed to leave my body as my son stared into my eyes, seeming to search my soul. I knew he would never see me fight unless it was for him. I was completely in love with Silva Jr.

He insisted that his first son be named after him, and how could I deny him that? But to avoid confusion, we started calling him Sonny. We're not entirely sure how that name came about. Trulijo called him that once, and it just stuck.

Sonny was a quiet baby as he grew up, very smart and reserved, speaking only when spoken to. His manners were impeccable; at the age of 5, he would apologize for cutting you off. Sometimes, I would forget his age. Best of all, he adored his mommy. He once drew me a picture of the three of us sitting in a tree, and it made me smile. For days on end, he would run up to me with a different drawing just to see me smile. He even reminded me to make sure I ate my vegetables.