Chronicles of Mystery

The monster within

Disclaimer: This part contains certain words and situations that can be deemed racist. Know that by no means I support racism in any way, shape or form, it is only a way for me to show what kind of life Jonas has led, those words people have told him are obviously not true. Do not hesitate to report anything that you think is inappropriate for me to say. 

Jonas splashed some water on his face. He was still exhausted from their last mission. He would have preferred to be able to rest a little but could see that everyone else was eager to join the party. So he would make an effort. If only David wouldn't have forced him to overexert himself on every mission he went on. He who would always use his powers as little as possible and even hide them as best he could, was not used to this intensive regime. However, David seemed to take great pleasure in seeing him suffer and absolutely did not listen to his complaints. He just smiled and looked at him with his not conforming to human standards pupils. Sometimes, often even, David scared him. He was not human, he was the same kind of creature he had been taught to be wary of all his life, vicious and dangerous, dissembling. He believed in David, he trusted him even to a certain extent, but he had difficulty seeing anything even vaguely human in him.

But it was the same for everyone else. Each of them. He never showed it but they... disgusted him a little, almost a lot. How dare they show their circus beast face in broad daylight like this?

Regularly, during a meal that they all shared together, this feeling of nausea would return. They shouldn't have been able to live like this, they shouldn't have. He slashed his palms to avoid speaking, to avoid showing the revulsion he felt. It was immoral, immoral, he had always been taught that. Celebration? No way. The celebrations? How could they?

How could they when all he had known from his birth until just one year was servitude, exploitation, perpetual imprisonment, fences, barriers, when even his mind held him between the norms established for him ? Could it have been possible that he had never... done anything wrong? That he didn't deserve to be locked up, rejected all his miserable life? No, impossible. He knew it, they had repeated it to him too much, they had made it the precept of his life too much for it to be false. He refused to have it any other way. He couldn't afford it. He knew he was guilty, guilty to the core, he was guilty because of the entity he harbored. He knew it, he was just a time bomb. That was why he had always been treated like that. Because of this, he knew that, soon, the order would realize it too. Eva, Eva would realize it, and they would chain him all together like the beast he was. But at least she would be safe with them.

He sighed.

Each time, he came home more tired and exhausted from each operation they carried out. He had thought that this feeling would fade with practice and time, but, on the contrary, it only seemed to increase. And he had only served the order for a year. He didn't know how long he could hold out like this. To its greatest misfortune, the proletarian revolution was far from having reached the order of the Blue Feathers and they did not have a union to defend their interests. The cause of the poor employees had no one to defend it!

He was sore and felt like his bones were going to crack. He tried to relieve himself a little by massaging his body, without much result.

Containing Erebus was becoming more difficult every day. Every time he used his powers, he felt him getting closer, gaining more power, more control over himself. It repelled him, disgusted him, to feel within himself this other being who had a life of his own. He felt like he had been infected with a parasite that he couldn't get rid of. He was also ashamed of himself, of this defect he had always had. And above all, he was afraid, he was simply terrified. At every moment, he had the impression of not being completely alone, feeling a presence, an unknown body that moved within him and that struggled and insidiously infiltrated his thoughts. Very often, he feared that he would no longer be able to recognize what came from him and what came from Erebus. Its miasma was inside him, rotting him from the inside, making him a monster to be rejected. He knew it. This was why he always had to be wary of Erebus. He had to be wary of it. They had always told him that. He alone could have been nice, he could have been happy. At some point, others loved him for a time before he revealed what he really was. But it was Erebus, it was Erebus's fault. They were right, why would they accept this unnatural presence among them?