Chronicles of Mystery

Their gaze

Liam felt particularly tired. It was always the case when he returned home, without really being able to identify why. Was it regret or grief? He preferred not to really delve into the question. As soon as he began to take a deep interest in the torments of his mind, he could very easily get lost and find no way out, plunging headlong into a spiral of disappointment that left him no longer able to escape. Generally speaking, he hated feeling sorry for himself, even though he too often found himself wasting time deep in thought.

At least he wouldn't be alone tonight. Lately, he managed to feel a little less sad, to push this feeling of permanent dejection a little further in his mind. It was probably due to the presence of others around him. Maybe he felt less alone. Less alone than when he had formed a squad alone with Aiko, for lack of numbers. The priests had first considered having them join the Sigma Squadron but Liam had refused the offer, still hoping that David would eventually return and, indeed, after a year, they had ended up finding him lost in the desert.

But, the time they had spent alone with just Aiko and him had been much less pleasant. They were arguing even more often than usual with Aiko and not just with their usual bickering. Things were difficult. They had just turned sixteen and had to hunt monsters without any supervision and without experience in the field. It was a task that could not be refused, it was only retribution for all that they had already been offered.

Of course, they were still being trained by Sissy, but that was just theory and no substitute for practice. He himself had never really had what it took to lead. He could not easily establish links with the rest of his team, set up strategies, he lacked the charisma necessary to command respect and was simply incapable of establishing a relationship of authority. He had always been better at following instructions, being faithful, and listening to what was said to him. He didn't have the capacity to do the rest. He had always been told what to do, how to be, how to act, what to try to become. He had never had the slightest question to ask himself about his goal, his future, what awaited him, everything had been handed to him and he had followed the path that was pointed out to him. A certain lack of will perhaps or of character in him which had given him a great docility instead. Very often he felt quite empty in life, devoid of anything he could have wanted. He had nothing he could have wanted to obtain or conquer, he already had everything he could have wanted, a family, a home, a job to do, a quest to pursue. He didn't know what else he might have been looking for. But, without anyone to guide him, he remained lost, ineffectual and numb, like a blind man deprived of all landmarks, unable to find his way except by groping. That was what this year alone with Aiko had, a groping in the dark, not knowing if the light was at the end.

Everything seemed to be better since David had returned. He had missed him during his years of absence. He had felt like he had lost him too and had feared that he would never come back. But now he was here again and he wouldn't leave anymore, he wouldn't leave him ever again. He didn't want to be left again, he didn't know how to act when he was left alone. He needed someone, someone to guide him. What could a puppet do without a master?

David was like a big brother to him. His eldest and something of a role model for him or at least someone he thought he could trust, follow without question, the equivalent of an authority figure to lean on. But before, David was more fearful. Liam would have liked to be able to blindly trust him and always believe in him, but the David before had already disappointed him several times, without him really daring to admit it, like a vague bitter taste that he had never really got over, a cantankerous smell of a rotten thing that shouldn't have been. David shouldn't have failed in any way, he should have played his part, been up to it but he hadn't known, he hadn't succeeded. He had to be a hero, his hero and it is well known that a hero cannot have any faults or flaws. He could not afford to lower himself to the level of ordinary mortals, he could not have imperfections that would have made him ordinary, fallible.This new David he had found was more like the person he wanted him to be. A being that he could easily idealize, who met the expectations he had of him. Whatever had happened on his journey had changed him for the better. The rest... The rest, he did not need to know.