good enough ; odesu

8.

the silence in university backyard was good. comforting even. that was what seungmin thought, when he was sitting there on the soft grass, under a huge tree with his back leaned against it.

most of the times, he spent the whole day of university in class. not even going out in the cafeteria for lunch. loudness, too many people and all that noise the students were creating was disturbing him. he felt too anxious, overwhelmed by it and tried his best to avoid such places. 

that was why he stayed in the classroom. not like he didn't want to see the other students being happy, laughing, talking about whatever and such. he himself just didn't want to be there. well, on the other hand, not like he had anyone there to talk to him. he preferred it that way anyway, even though deep down he did wish sometimes, for jungsu to be there with him in university too. 

there were only extremely important moments, when seungmin would go out of the classroom. of course, going home didn't count. in those times he actually wished he could stay and not go home. he would prefer to go anywhere, literally anywhere but not in that cursed place. 

he didn't even leave for lunch. and no, most of the times he did not have something to eat from home. since well, his mother would never waste her time on something like this and seungmin himself, every morning was too concentrated to leave without any problems, just as soon as possible that he was forgetting. or, he would get lunch for himself but would forget it anyway because of course, his parents yelled at him for not going to university on time and being late. 

but today was one of those rare exceptions, when seungmin left the classroom and decided to spend some time in the huge backyard the building had. 

the lecture was cancelled at the last second and the classroom got a little too loud for seungmin's liking. with the students chattering and laughing around, he felt dizzy. so since technically he wasn't doing anything that was against the rules, he grabbed his phone, pencil and sketchbook and without even saying a word to anyone ⸺ even though a few students called out his name ⸺ rushed down, out of the building to find a perfect spot and just be by himself. 

he chose the furthest corner of the backyard. as if, if he sat there no one would notice him and just making himself comfortable, brought his knees up, to place the sketchbook there and start doing what he loved to do the most lately. 

drawing. especially that certain someone, he grew to admire a lot. there was something about jungsu, seungmin loved so much. he himself couldn't exactly tell honestly. 

the elder seemed to be so perfect in every way, shape and form possible, seungmin never thought it could ever be like this until he met jungsu. he loved every small thing about the elder and he didn't know whether it was good or not. 

since the elder seemed to become his escape, from his house, parents, problems, reality and basically everything, seungmin didn't know, should he be happy or a little bit concerned about it. he already felt too emotionally attached to jungsu. not like he had anyone else, but even if he did, he still felt like he would always, end up going to jungsu.