good enough ; odesu

13.

the moment seungmin met up with jungsu by the gates of the university building, he pushed all the negative thoughts that were occupying his mind somewhere far and curved his lips up in a small smile. 

he was anxious, god knew what could have happened and what the consequences of his actions could have been if his parents found out about what he decided to do. what was he going to do. 

that morning seungmin woke up earlier than he was supposed to while his parents were still asleep in their room. so, he saw it as an opportunity to do what he probably would never even think of doing any other day. 

it wasn't technically just because his parents were asleep, he didn't know what had gotten into him to do it. he just felt the sudden urge to meet up with jungsu. and not just see him for a little time and then go to university. he wanted to spend the whole day with the elder. 

he was never like that before. at least, he couldn't recall any. it was the sudden urge since the day before. all seungmin could think of as a reason, was him opening up to jungsu that day. 

seungmin couldn't explain this either, it was as if there was something blurry between the two of them before seungmin spoke up about himself. they trusted each other, at least seungmin did and he would love to think that jungsu did too but just because he never talked about himself and stayed silent most of the times if not always, he thought there still had been something between them. now that seungmin opened up, that something was cleaned and it was like seungmin could see everything better. 

both, himself and jungsu. after opening up, it was as if he both, admitted to himself what he had gone through and saw his own self better. same with the elder boy. he understood better now. not like jungsu said much to him that day. but even just his presence felt somehow different. 

they somehow grew closer, at least seungmin thought so. that spark had been there for him for quite some time now, maybe since that certain day when they spent time in the park. that day when seungmin was making the first drawing of jungsu, he realized how beautiful he was. the exact moment when he looked up and saw him being so invested in whatever he was reading, it was like he was hit by a huge train of realization how breathtakingly beautiful the boy was without even trying. he just sat there reading a book, and seungmin was so stunned by him. 

undeniable, jungsu had always been gorgeous looking but since that very day, seungmin felt like he was seeing more of his beauty each day and yesterday when he let him hear it all about his past, it was like he had fully discovered how beautiful the elder was, not only the looks but the soul too. 

he had never had this very strong urge to meet him  before. he couldn't wait to see the elder boy in all his glory and feel his tight embrace. seungmin felt like he wouldn't be able to breath if he didn't see jungsu. 

he didn't know what it was that made him feel that way, but decided not to question it and just do what his heart was telling him and early in the morning, without even eating, texted jungsu, asking if they could meet up somewhere. 

and that's where he had been this whole time. when they met up by the gates of the university building where seungmin studied, jungsu thought the younger just wanted to see him before the long day of lectures and studies. 

obviously, he didn't say no, not like he could do that anyway. he was willing to skip his own lectures even just to see seungmin. well, unlike seungmin, there was no one forcing him to study all the time and such and even if it was early in the morning and the lectures started an hour or so after, jungsu still went to where seungmin asked him to. if he was late for his own lectures, he would skip. he didn't even care.