good enough ; odesu

1.

jungsu became the only person with whom seungmin felt like being himself was not a bad thing. 

since their first ever meeting, jungsu always made sure to remind him that. to tell him, how he was amazing the way he was and how he liked to spend time with seungmin when the younger was just being himself and not pretending to be different. 

it was a hard thing to do. seungmin was having a really hard time believing what jungsu told him. since jungsu was the first and the only person who told him that and tried to make him believe in his words. seungmin always was sticking to the idea that he was never good enough and never worth anything. that's what his parents always told him and reminded him. 

he had to do so, as much as he hated it, he had to be a different person in university and different person at home. he tried to be the a person his parents wanted him to be ⸺ even if, after all the tries they still were unsatisfied with him and everything he did. and even if he already gave up trying to be someone else, he still had to pretend in front of his parents, even though it was no use. 

the one and only person he slowly was starting to grow to feel safe with was jungsu. the elder felt like a literal miracle in his life. every single day, he couldn't wait for the university to be over, to go and meet the elder boy somewhere, sure seungmin was having his mood swings a lot, wanting to never see a single soul ever again but at the end of the day, jungsu was always the only exception. the elder seemed to understand him the most, in every single way possible. 

he had so many problems in life. one after another and too much was piling up he felt like he wouldn't be able to handle it all. nor he wanted to talk about it, knowing there was no one to understand him. and most of the times, the silent comfort was what he needed anyway. seungmin just wanted to have someone physically by his side. keeping him a company and not talking. he just wanted to feel that there was someone with him and he wasn't alone. 

or, if talking then about anything but his problems. he would sit and listen to one talking about anything and everything. but he didn't want to tell anyone his problems. 

and jungsu turned out to be the only one who understood what he wanted and needed. it was only when they first ever met, that jungsu told him, he could run to him whenever he felt like he had no one to turn to. he told him, and assured him, he would always be there for him no matter what and never pressure him into talking out his problems and opening up. 

seungmin was glad and so thankful he had met someone like jungsu. he couldn't even ask for this. the elder understood him better than anyone else did, he even understood seungmin better than the boy himself. when seungmin didn't know what he wanted, what kind of comfort he needed, jungsu knew. he always knew, when seungmin needed a talk, a hug or simply just silence. 

❝oh seungmin!❞