good enough ; odesu

18.

if seungmin thought that kissing jungsu would be no big deal, oh boy he was wrong. 

so wrong to the point he was nearly about to lose it. and being in university was making everything so much worse. 

today was a day when the lecturer decided to ask questions to the class randomly, one would answer this question and another that, no one knew who would be chosen for a certain question and if so, for how many times. everyone was so focused, wanting to get a good mark. the lecturer also mentioned he would call each parent to tell them how their kids were doing and how well they were prepared not only for today, but also what they had been doing for the whole semester. 

seungmin however barely caught anything the male had said at the beginning of the class, he was too busy staring down at his notebook and thinking. he felt like going crazy ever since yesterday evening. 

a sad part about this whole thing was that he maybe did manage to somehow catch cold, because of running back home in the heavy rain. it was nothing serious though, he would just cough or sneeze here and there, he didn't think it was a big of a deal. good thing was, his parents didn't even question when he got home soaked wet. they were watching tv and all they did was to roll their eyes and warn him, that even if he caught cold because of his quote as always stupid and much inattentive behavior, he still would not stay at home and there would be no way in million years he would skip university lectures. 

about that too, seungmin did not care. he was so glad his parents did not pay that much attention to him that day. they failed to notice that stupid smile tugging up his lips the whole time and pink tint covering his cheeks and nose bridge. that was so beneficial for him. his parents not giving two fucks about him that day, made him go to sleep at peace. no harsh words thrown at him nor his father pushing him with a force, nor his mother digging her nails into his skin or slapping him across the cheek. 

he was glad none of that happened and his day ended just so perfectly. it could not have been better, seungmin could not even imagine. 

and even though the next morning he woke up sneezing, he didn't regret anything. it was worth it, just so worth it. seungmin would not wish for anything to be changed if he could. he would be able to bear with this slight sickness, not like he hadn't before. 

just thinking how much could have not happened if he didn't tell jungsu he would walk him home, made him just smile even more. they would not kiss. and maybe seungmin would never have the courage to do that any other day so the two would just be like they used to all the time, or until jungsu would be able to do it. 

not even the small argument he had with his parents that morning managed to make his mood drop. they were just throwing words back and forth how his careless act made him get sick, as if they fucking cared in the first place. but seungmin decided to not talk back. not because he was exhausted or tired ⸺ well he always was because of them but that certain day he told himself not to let it all affect him. 

he had to be happy. he truly was. and he was not going to let anything bring his mood down. not his parents. 

going to university with that same small, nearly not even visible smile displaying on his lips, seungmin realized too late how stupid he must have looked in other peoples' eyes. just a random boy, walking and smiling. no, not creepy at all. but again, he couldn't care less about anyone's opinion. 

past him, from just a few months before, would be so shocked seeing him today and maybe proud too. back then seungmin could not even imagine being like this. smiling and not caring about what anyone had to think about him? not minding his parents' harsh words? crazy.